Why is God against me? Have you ever thought that? Maybe, in your distress, you’ve spoken those words out loud. While I want to believe that God is always on the Christian’s side of things, it seems that, at times, God is against us. Am I the only one here who feels that way? I would hazard a guess that if we are honest with ourselves we’ve all felt that way at one time or another. We feel that God is against us. Is there more to it than a “feeling”?
God is against Hannah. More than anything else in the world, Hannah wants to have a baby. After all, women get pregnant every day. Couples have children. So, what’s the problem? Yet, the Scripture says, “The LORD had closed her womb” (5). In other words, God kept Hannah from having what she wanted most, to have a child. God seems to be against her.
Why is God against me? Personally, I can’t help but to ask that question right now. I have been searching for a job since last December. Over 8 months, over 100 applications, only 10 interviews, but no offers! I feel the growing heaviness on all fronts… what am I to do? I’ve applied for all kinds of jobs… anything that I’m qualified for to those that I am horribly over qualified for! Why does it feel like God is against me?
I am not the only one who feels this way. Hannah does to, and it seems that God is… although, she has a loving husband, Elkanah, who absolutely adored her and showed extra favor toward her (5, 8). He was a godly man who wanted to honor and obey God (3, 23). He wanted the wife he loved to be happy. Having a husband like Elkanah should be enough for Hannah to feel fulfilled and happy, right?
While this may not sound godly to our modern ears, Elkanah has a second wife, Peninnah, possibly in order to have the children that Hannah could not bear to him??? Maybe, it was because he was wealthy and successful. Regardless, a second wife was an acceptable practice during those times. Unfortunately, Peninnah knew that she was not cherished like Hannah, even though she gave her husband numerous children. It was hard for her to feel so unloved, and she took out her frustrations on the wife Elkanah loved, Hannah.
Why is God against Hannah? Year after year, Hannah’s feeling of God’s rejection grows. Each year, Elkanah’s entire family, both wives, traveled together to Shiloh for their annual sacrifices, which was normal worship in the Old Testament. As they went to worship God, Peninnah viciously tortures Hannah over her barrenness. Hannah could tolerate it at home, that is, in their separate tents. She was able to keep her distance, but on the long trip, there was no avoiding it. The awful togetherness was too much!
Do you ever think that God is against you? Hannah thought, “If I could only have one child, then Peninnah would be quite and leave me alone.” Her reproach would be gone. But, it was not only Peninnah, but the culture and society of her time! It considered any woman who could not have children as cursed by God. Hannah bore a heavy burden. We’ve all made mistakes! Society doesn’t quickly forget! Yet, Hannah had not even made that mistake! She just could not have children…
For some reason, God was against her. What could she do? Year after long, painful year, she suffered at Shiloh. A time each year that should have been a festive one before God was almost intolerable for her. She wept and would not eat (7). Why was God against her? What was wrong with her? What had she done to offend God? Why? Why? Why?
It is not because God has something against women; after all, he created men and women to be who they are. He created women to embrace their femininity. Scripture affirms the value of womanhood. Even worse, Peninnah kept having children!
It is not because God does not love her as a person; God may not like all of the things we do. We’ve made some mistakes and bad choices along the way, but he loves and cares for us. Even though it is not enough for Hannah, Elkanah is living proof of God’s love for Hannah. He loves her in spite of her barrenness.
It is not because God wants population control; many others are still having children. The hard data does not even lend itself to that as a cause. If we are good stewards, God has provided all that we need to provide for the population.
It is not because God enjoys our suffering; he is not a sadist! It goes against his very nature and character! It does not bring him pleasure for his children to suffer. God is not into that! He does not desire to cause us pain, although he may allow it for a time. Yet, Hannah suffers because God has closed her womb.
It is not because God wants us to quit worshipping and praying; God wants us to pray and worship Him. We worship him in Spirit and truth, and are told to pray always! Hannah worships and prays! She sincerely believes God and desperately seeks him.
Why then is God against us? Why will God not give us the one thing that we think would most bring fulfillment to our lives? Hannah just wants to have a baby! And you just want… whatever it is that you want??? As a woman in the culture of that day, it is a sign of God’s blessing and a fulfillment of her created purpose. Why?
Hannah suffers, but does not understand why God hates her, if he does hate her. Hannah prays to God, “O LORD Almighty, if you will only look upon your servant’s misery and remember me, and not forget your servant but give her a son, then I will give him to the LORD for all the days of his life” (11). Even with this vow, her misery does not end.
The priest, Eli, sees her mouth moving, but no words coming out of her mouth, so he thinks that she is drunk and rebukes her for it (12-14). UGHHH! Will this never end? Tortured by Peninnah! Rejected by society! NOW, even the priest thinks that I’m a bad, ungodly person! I was praying!!!
Hannah explains her situation to him. She quietly tells him about her problem, her barrenness. She feels desperate and knows that God can, if only God will, help her! It was an honest mistake on Eli’s part, and he blesses her (17), “May God grant your request.” Hannah believes it! Her spirit lifts! She feels the weight of her burden lifted!
Finally, God hears her prayer! Why? Why did God hear her prayer now? Did you catch the why? She prayed it! Hannah surrendered to God the one thing that she wanted most in this world. More than bargaining with God, it was giving to God what she wanted most. Surrendering our desires, wants, and wishes to God makes the difference.
When we feel like God is against us, it may be that God is using our suffering and rejection to bring us to the place where we will surrender to Him what we want most in this world. Hannah felt that God was against her, but in reality, God was working in her life, purifying her motives, and preparing her spiritually before he would open her womb and allow her to have children.
Hannah is not the first, nor the last, believer who thought God was against them. We thought that God was against us because He would not give to us what we wanted most, but God was actually with us and for us. He was working in us to get our hearts right for the purpose of giving us what we wanted most. Many of us have thought that God was against us before we surrendered our lives and our desires to Him.
Before we were believers’, God gave His one and only Son, Jesus Christ, to die for our sins that we might have peace with God. Once we became Christians, God continues to love us and demonstrate His grace in our lives, but like a wise father, who does not grant every wish of his children, he does not grant every desire of ours.
Some requests will be granted when we ask; others requests will be granted, but not until we are ready; some requests will never be granted. The last category is sometimes the hardest to deal with… later, we often come to understand why God did not grant that request, or we may never learn why in this lifetime. We choose to trust God’s providence.
Hannah bore a son and named him Samuel, heard of God. She surrendered to God, and God heard her prayer. When Samuel was old enough, she took him to Eli and gave him to the LORD. Not only did God give Hannah Samuel, but Hannah bore other children as well (2:5). She, who was barren and mocked, became blessed. She, who God seemed to be against, was really for her. God did for Hannah what Hannah could not do for herself. In response to her surrender, he allowed her to have children.
Sources:
THE HOLY BIBLE, NEW INTERNATIONAL VERSION®, NIV® Copyright© 1973, 1978, 1984, 2011 by Biblica, Inc.TM. Used by permission. All rights reserved worldwide. All Scripture quotations, unless otherwise indicated, are taken from the Holy Bible: New International Version.
Lowry, Eugene. The Homiletical Plot: the Sermon as Narrative Art Form (Louisville: Westminster John Knox Press, 2001).
Lowry, Eugene. Website: http://www.eugenelowry.com/