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Question
When the girl I baby-sit gets mad because I catch her doing something wrong, she says things like, “I’m going to push you out the window so you’ll go to the hospital” or “I’ll push you into the street” or “I’ll kill you with a knife so you’ll be dead.” I’ve tried timeouts and talking to the girl about the mean things she says, but nothing changes. I have talked to her mother, and the most I have gotten is, “She says that to me, too.” This girl is just shy of 5 years old. What can I do to deal with this girl?
Answer
Get out of that situation. As fast as possible.
Even if the girl started out just trying to intimidate you (and her mother), the mother’s unwillingness to address the problem has made it worse. I won’t go so far as to label the girl as dangerous, but if people allow you to make threats with impunity for long enough, you may eventually be tempted to follow through on one.
This girl’s mother has acted foolishly, probably for some time. She needs to take a far more aggressive tack with this girl, because such violent and disrespectful attitudes only lead to bad places.
You are the baby-sitter, not the mother. If the mother refuses to put the brakes on this runaway train, your best bet is to get off the tracks. I also recommend prayer. For both the girl and her mother.
Question
Are your parents allowed to know your paycheck? I am a high-school junior in Alabama looking for a job. Hopefully I can work from 3 p.m to 8 p.m. five or six days a week. When I get my check, how do I cash it? Would I need my parent to cash it? Would they be allowed to know how much I make if I don’t want them to know?
Answer
In Alabama, a minor 16 or older can technically work a job without parental consent. But for practical purposes, that doesn’t happen.
First, children under 18 can’t open a checking account with a parent co-signing. Parents have the authority to limit withdrawals and spending, and if they want to see the paychecks, they can. It is possible to avoid banks and cash all your checks at a currency exchange, but many establishments are reluctant to cash checks for minors.
Second, establishments that employ children in Alabama need to obtain permits from the state. If your parents object to your employment, most companies will simply choose to hire someone else rather than risk trouble with their permit.
Third, school is at the moment your most important job. Many parents would frown on their children working more than 15 hours a week, and you’re aiming for 25 or 30 hours. If the job interferes with your schoolwork, the school district and your parents have plenty of options for restricting your employment hours.
So how should you tackle the job issue? Start by getting your parents on board with the job idea, and don’t try to work more hours than they want you to work. You are a minor, dependent on your parents’ support both financially and legally. I understand your desire to make money of your own, but hiding income from your parents will only work if they don’t try very hard to find out.
If these issues devolve into a fight between you and your parents over the right to work and the privacy of your salary, you will lose. As such, you are better off getting their permission and working within the strictures they set. Within those boundaries, you will probably end up with both more money and more freedom than you had before – if not necessarily as much as you would like.
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