You aren’t the one she cries for when she’s hurt, the one she gets overly excited to see, and you didn’t carry her in your uterus for nine months. You are her step-mom.
You love her more than anything, and chances are (unless you’re an evil step-mom) she loves you just as much. You may not have the same bond she has with her mother, but you share a bond that is different. She can tell you things that daughters just don’t tell their moms, she can confide in you when her mother isn’t around, and she knows there is one more person in the world that loves her with every ounce they have in them.
Your relationship didn’t start that way though. Mommy and Daddy may or may not have had a “nice” split. If it was a mutual and calm agreement, Mom may not have caused a lot of problems when Dad started dating again, however, if it was a relationship that ended with a few battle scars, Mom may have a few issues with a new woman in her daughter’s life.
A “few issues” may be an understatement in some cases. All mothers have a right to get a little angry about the “new woman”, and that’s perfectly fine. What’s not alright is to go overboard with the scare tactics. You possibly received some very threatening phone calls, unexpected visits, and the ever so annoying “I want you back” pleas to your man.
Even when she pulls out the outrageous stunts you believe only psycho mental cases would ponder up, you have to keep your cool. Most of the time, she will eventually give up if you act like she’s not making your blood boil.
The mother is not the only thing that will cause trouble. Sometimes it seems as if your own thoughts will eat away at you until there is nothing left. Deep in the back of your mind the fear is there that he will decide to go back to her. It’s not totally irrational, it does happen, but in all reality it probably won’t. Yes, they will always be tied together because of the beautiful baby girl they created, but you shouldn’t rack your brain over it.
Being a step-mom is difficult, I’m not going to lie, but every smile you bring to that little girl’s face makes everything worth it.