Dear 15 old me:
Here almost 15 years later, you will find that life has changed quite a bit. Some of what you are wishing for now will come true and some things you never thought would happen did. If I could go back in time and have a talk to “myself” at this age, I would say these things.
1. You are not fat. Not even close. You will always have a thicker midsection, be chesty and your nose will always be a bit on the larger size. You will just be “you”.That body you hate at the moment is fine and it will go on to give birth to 6 beautiful children. Stop hating it. Enjoy the fact it is healthy.
2. Being “boy crazy” will change a couple of months before your 19th birthday when you give birth to your first baby boy. You will then find yourself with three more young men in your life. These boys will be your buddies, your sunshine and give you the strength you need to keep going, especially at the hardest time in your life. You will understand what it truly means to be “crazy” for a boy..or two..or three..or four.
3. Some things end in heartache. There is no rhyme or reason. You will learn at the earliest that not all happy beginnings have happy endings. It may not make sense but it will give you compassion. Use it.
4. Romance is what you make of it. You will get flowers. You will get jewelry but later on in life you will understand that romance is a man staying up for 48 hours straight just so he can work to make ends meet. Or the man who stays up all night at the emergency room with a toddler with a horrible cough because he wants you to get some sleep. Romance changes a bit. You will still want flowers but you will start to see and appreciate the little things and that mean so much.
5. Never look past today. You will find out the hard way things can change in the matter of a few minutes. What you thought was strong crumbles. Learn to adapt. Be open to it. It will make everything easier.
6. Hug your family more. That grandpa you love, one day he won’t be there. That stepdad who works so hard and that you get mouthy with, tell him how much you appreciate him being there. Your grandma one day will get tired and sad. Give them a hug and let them know you love them.
7. Listen to your mom a bit more. And hug her too. Take her to see some pirates and if you ever become a millionaire, buy her a pirate ship.
8. Treasure your friends. You will have a few friends in life that save you in every sense of the word. They will scoop you up on the ground, and carry you when you feel as though you cannot go on. You will love them so much for it. Treasure these people.
9. You will have your little girl. She will be even more beautiful than you ever imagined and keep the music going, because she LOVES to dance.
10. Know that even now, life does not make any sense. You will get what you want and then suddenly you change. Remember to keep the faith, know that some things cannot be explained and keep doing the right thing while God takes care of the rest.