When it comes to relationships, we have all heard the same message a thousand times: before getting involved, know who you are as a person. Don’t depend on someone else to make you complete.
Yes, we’ve heard it, and we keep reminding ourselves of this message, but why is it that when we get into a committed relationship, we still tend to lose ourselves?
To combat the trap of losing yourself to your relationship, here are 7 ways to make sure you stay true to yourself!
1. Maintain hobbies and activities that were important to you prior to you being in a relationship.
While you may have some interests in common with your significant other (and you may even learn to like some interests of his that you didn’t care for before), by no means should you no longer participate in your beloved book club or annual girls’ trip just because you’re in a relationship.
2. Keep up your friendships.
We all know that things tend to change when we get a man, but please…please…don’t throw the girlfriends to the side. After all, if things don’t work out, who are you going to end up venting to? And if they do work out, who will throw your bachelorette party, not to mention be a bridesmaid?
3. Continue to learn new things.
One of the best things about new relationships is learning about all the cool things that person is into and believes in (hence the reason those first few conversations tend to be 4+ hours long and you think of this as a sign or a “connection”).
But once you’ve been in a serious relationship with someone, after a while, you learn almost everything about them (or so you think). Continue improving your life (while maintaining your partner’s interest) by taking up a new hobby or experiencing new things.
4. Give yourself some space away from your significant other.
No one said that relationships required you to be up under each other 24/7. Time away is healthy for both you and the relationship. Spend time with friends and family and don’t isolate yourself.
Isolation can make you more dependent on your partner, which can end up pushing him away. Hence, absence makes the heart grow fonder.
5. Take some time to be alone.
Some women can get so focused on their significant others-what he’s doing, what he’s thinking, and what he’s feeling-that they never take a moment to focus on themselves. Take time to love yourself!
6. Don’t be afraid to speak up.
It’s hard not to bring up issues in a relationship, especially when things are going relatively well, for fear of “rocking the boat.” But if there’s something in the relationship that really bothers you, don’t just go with the flow.
Be real about the issue and discuss it with your significant other. Ignoring it won’t make it go away. In fact, it could cause it fester into something much more significant. It doesn’t take long before that mole hill makes it way into a mountain.
7. Don’t quit having fun together.
I’m pretty sure that one of the things that attracted you to your significant other (and what attracted him to you) is the fact that you enjoyed each others’ company and that you could have fun together.
Continue to date, continue to joke, and continue to laugh with each other. Trust me when I say that fun and games will make your relationship just that much stronger.