Nine year old, Aliahna Maroney-Lemmon of Fort Wayne who has been making headline news, is a story that we find ourselves squirming in discomfort as we read the horrific details. The headlines of Beyonce’s pregnancy or Kim Kadashian’s short union provides a temporary escape from the dismal realities of the world. As we turn a blind eye to tough topics, little girls like Aliahna are being pushed through the system and their silent cries are drowned out in the more popular headlines of hollywood gossip and political rhetoric. She had a tough history of being neglected and sexually abused before her life ended in a brutal murder and dismemberment. Unfortunately, her history is very common.
Statistics show that approximately 1 in 3 girls and 1 in 5 boys are sexually abused before their eighteenth birthday. Of those assaults, 34.3% were family members, 58.7% were acquaintances and only 7% were strangers. So, the vast majority of sexual assaults occur with people the child knows and trusts. Of course these are only the reported cases. The ripple effect of these occurances branch off in many different directions.
When sexual abuse occurs, a child can develop various distressing feelings, thoughts and behaviors. No child is ever psychologically prepared to cope with repeated sexual abuse. An infant or toddler will develop problems resulting from the inability to cope with the abuse.
It can affect the victim for many years and into adulthood. Adults who were sexually abused as children commonly experience depression. Additionally, high levels of anxiety in these adults can result in self-destructive behaviors, such as alcoholism or drug abuse, anxiety attacks, situation-specific anxiety disorders, and insomnia. Many victims also encounter problems in their adult relationships and in their adult sexual functioning. Their behavior may often repeat the behavior and/or may trickle down to the next generation, creating strains of generational patterns. It is likely that you walk by these children, women and men that have experienced this every day. They may be you.
If someone you know is exhibiting destructive behavior whether self inflicted, inflicted on others or both, they maybe walking around with the burden of these occurences. Broken people don’t choose do be broken, something broke them.
If you are a parent, there are many proactive ways that you can protect your child(ren):
Research the sex offender registry at www.familywatchdog.com in your community, restaurants, parks and frequent places that you and your children visit, the neighborhood that your child school and bus stop is in and any friends and family that your child visits. Talk to your children about the difference between safe touching and unsafe touching. Watch who your children are around and who you allow them to be around. This can be friends, family, neighbors and other influences. Watch for peculiar behavior in your child. The strongest indication that a child has been sexually abused.
If you are an adult who still suffers with the long term consequences of being sexually violated, there are several organizations that can provide information and advice about sexual abuse and places to get help, including:
American Professional Society on the Abuse of Children
407 South Dearborn
Suite 1300
Chicago, IL 60605
(312) 554-0166
http://www.apsac.org/
National Center for Missing and Exploited Children
Charles B. Wang International Children’s Building
699 Prince Street Alexandria, VA 22314-3175
24 hotline: 1-800-THE-LOST
http://www.missingkids.com/
References:
http://www.apa.org/pubs/info/brochures/sex-abuse.aspx#
http://bjs.ojp.usdoj.gov/
Watch this powerful video of ripple effect of brokenness and the formation of generational patterns.