Sex is an important factor in a relationship. Most people were taught not to have sex until they were married, though it is more common for sex outside of marriage today. Either way, it is supposed to be an act of love. It shows one another that you find the other attractive and shows affection.
In a relationship, society has usually depicted the wife or female partner to not wanting sex as much as men. Men come off as horn dogs. But is it generally always that way? No, actually a lot of women are very sexually active, and depending on what study you look at, they are even more so than men. And men are probably thinking, what is wrong with that? Well, nothing unless it is truly is an addiction or something of that sorts, except that sometimes the roles are reversed in the example mentioned before. The men are too tired or stressed for sex. Well, not everyone can be in the mood all the time, right? Right. But when it starts becoming a reoccurring habit, it may not only frustrate your wife/lover but affect her in more ways than one.
First of all, it knocks her self-esteem way down. When a person is rejected for sex, especially a woman, we feel bad as do men. However, men who keep turning down their lover makes them feel inadequate. Some women talk about their husbands or boyfriends turning them down but masturbating later on. And that is a very big ego crusher. And of course as women, we blame ourselves. What’s wrong with us? Why aren’t we attractive? Maybe if I buy this type of lingerie or if I lose this much weight.
Another common problem women have discussed was that they were the only ones initiating sex. They had to do all the seducing. That is also an ego crusher. When a woman is doing seducing all the time, it feels like we failed at turning you on. Yea, anyone could do it manually. But we want to feel wanted and like you to want us as much as we want you. Plus, it makes us feel beautiful as women and as your wife or girlfriend.
Why are men repeatedly declining sex from their lovers? Work and stress can make men out of touch with their emotions. Being angry or hanging on to a grudge because his wife/girlfriend had wronged him is another example. Or perhaps his desire for sex is being satisfied by masturbation and porn. There are many, many reasons that cause men just to not want to have sex.
But why is it so important to your female partner? Going back to Biblical days when God made woman to be a partner and to be united to be one flesh. God created sex to be shared (in a marriage) and not to be withheld. When sex is lacking in a relationship, your wife or girlfriend will not only start having lower self esteem, but she’ll feel in a sense loneliness or a void and after a while can result in cheating and affairs. Or she will try to find a way to fill the “void” herself, maybe through pornography, work or other means. Sex isn’t just a way to “get off” for women. It gives us a sense of security, intimacy and love. And sometimes that’s all we want.
I’m not saying that if a man has declined his wife sex, he is a bad person. No, not by any means. But don’t withhold it. Try to initiated it once in a while. Take a night out of the week when you’re not too busy and just spend it with your lady lover. Your relationship will be a lot better, not to mention it would make her a lot better emotionally.
Dennis Rainey. “Why Sex Is So Important To Your Wife.”
freedomeveryday. 14 Sept. 2011
http://www.freedomeveryday.org/sexual-addiction-articles/viewArticle.php?articleID=64