I sat in the mall waiting for a late friend. I contemplated becoming a cynic, but instead decided to simply play the role of one until my friend arrived. Everyone was shopping the week before Christmas. Aware of my surroundings, I noticed that most people weren’t . Yes, I confirmed to myself, we have to be the most impractical, unintelligent species on the planet. Gotta love last minute Christmas shopping.
I sat focused on the swinging doors, waiting patiently as I did when I was a child. Yes, everyone was there as a family, except for the fourteen year old anorexic girl standing before me. She bent her limber body to be noticed until she met an older man of about 40 behind the semi-secluded block extending from the pizza store. How flirty their actions were. I considered jotting down notes about how sick that relationship was, then reminded myself of my own loneliness .
But this is Christmas, and you’re not supposed to think about precocious relationships in which anorexic, butterfly shirt wearing fourteen year olds are taken advantage. The couple left, with a secluded hand in hand. Many would assume they were father and daughter. It was Christmas, though, so onward I looked for my friend who would be arriving from the outdoors shortly.
In walked a peculiar group instead. Two men in their mid twenties, with one woman of the same age and two girls- one in her teens, and one about nine. The bearded man held a child, an angelic looking little girl of about two. He handed her off to the nine year old, whose innocence was obviously gone, and lit a cigarette. He stood outside, comfortable in his puffy coat and his puffed cigarette, while the little girl wore only a dress.
She had thin, ripped white tights and hair askew. The nine year old brought her into the enclosure between the inside and outside, a semi-warm conjecture of doors. People brushed in and out, knocking them from side to side, and there sat I, unwilling to help or give up my seat.
Eventually the girl put the younger girl down, while the bearded man stood and laughed contentedly. He laughed at them, then coldly stared at my critical glare. The nine year old tried keeping hold of the child’s hand, but was unable to do so as the little one ran througout the food court forum. She weaved in and out of the legs of girls on cell phones, into the legs of a burly lumberjack type man, past the bench in which I sat, and for the first time, she smiled freely. Her smile of freedom.
She was caught by the older woman, taken back into the area with the doors, and put down. Here the girl stood, sad and confused, while she was knocked about as passing, cold strangers moved the doors. She was stuck behind a door as a strong Adonis type flung the door into her. Nobody noticed, except for me. The bearded man extinguished his cigarette and walked in, picking her up and talking to others. He watched women and attempted to flirt and glanced at me severely.
Down fell the baby, on her head and crying. She was smacked for crying. He scooped her up, wishing I hadn’t noticed, and passed her to one of the females.
Then in rushed my friend, who was never mistreated or wronged. I was content as I stood up and left. And I have not been content with my memory since.