Zombie Humor: Are You One of the Texting Dead?

Are you a big fan of AMC’s “The Walking Dead”, yet don’t realize you may have something in common with those shambling zombies? Sure, you don’t smell much like the grave, wear rotting clothes, nor thirst for human flesh – right? Well, maybe you do, but that’s entirely your own ‘issue’, however, you may definitely share a zombie like trait.

It’s texting while walking, or being one of the Texting Dead.

Texting is a great tool. It’s even become indispensable for many of us, but at times, it can be just a wee bit over used. This is no article on bashing the merits of texting, nor weighing its sociological implications on healthy communications and interaction for human society at large, – etc. No, this is just to point out something I’ve been observing lately. It’s rather alarming – the zombification of those texting out in public.

I first noticed it in stores. I’d see people shopping or standing in line for a cashier. There ‘texting zombies’ would be looming – gently swaying in perfect rhythm to a unique ‘zombie frequency’, when sending or replying to text messages.

Gradually, I’d notice texting zombies all over. Usually, they’d be making their way slowly down the street – shambling along sidewalks like clockwork toys winding down, or like they’d just had a fight with the Energizer bunny and lost.

Today, I witnessed the emergence of a new mutant strain of the ubiquitous texting zombie. This fellow ambled back and forth, clutching his only important thing in life, his cell phone texting tablet magic pad. As he made his way down the sidewalk, he nearly collided with other texting zombies, and street signs, but somehow made it through. I marveled at his zombie instincts to avoid obstacles.

Texting zombies aren’t as colorful, nor fictionally dangerous as their bodily fluid oozing counterparts on “The Walking Dead”, but they’re just as annoying to encounter during the course of your day. With Hollywood zombies, you worry about getting eaten. With texting zombies, you must worry over your time being eaten up by navigating away from a staggering, texting addicted horde.


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