New York Times bestselling author Sarah Dessen is known for creating realistic characters who deal with real life issues related to teens today. She addresses such issues as abandonment and family in Lock and Key, the death of a parent in The Truth About Forever, and a young girl who gains the courage to speak up after being raped in Just Listen. In Dreamland (2000), Sarah Dessen addresses relationship violence through the story of sixteen year old Caitlin. When Caitlin’s sister Cass runs away and turns her back on her family’s expectations, Caitlin and her family strive to find ways to cope.
Brief Synopsis of Dreamland
On the morning of Caitlin’s sixteenth birthday, she learns that her sister Cass has disappeared. Her life changes when she meets Rogerson Biscoe. Every since she started going out with Rogerson, she has been in a dreamlike state of mind. With Rogerson, she could by anybody. Caitlin is determined to step out of Cass’s shadow. She finds herself in a world of physical abuse and drugs.
But it Can’t Happen to Me
One of the most common myths about relationship violence is that many believe or can’t imagine that it could happen to them. According to A Safe Place, statistics show that more than 1 in 10 teenagers experience abuse in their dating relationships and 1 in 4 actually report experiencing abuse.
Caitlin and her family likely never imagined that she would end up in an abusive relationship. Even though Dreamland is a fictional depiction of teen relationship violence, the story is reality for many teens today.
By definition, teen relationship violence is a pattern of actual physical, sexual, and or emotional abuse. perpetrated by a current or ex-dating partner. Relationship violence can occur during pre-teen through adulthood. According to A Safe Place, teens ages 13-18 are at high risk as they explore dating and intimacy . Studies has shown that this age group is least likely to report warning signs of abuse to friends, family members, a trustworthy adult, and not even the police.
Warning Signs
If you suspect that your teen or someone you know is in an abusive relationship, here are some warning signs to look for according to Teen Dating Violence Warning Signs:
Grades have declined in past weeks or months. He drinks or uses drugs. He told her that he loved her early in the relationship. If he calls or text, she must get back to him immediately. He is jealous if she speaks or looks at another boy.
When Rogerson first hits Caitlin, it was unexpected.
“When he hit me, I didn’t see it coming. It was a quick blur, a flash out of the corner of my eye, and then the side of my face just exploded, burning as his hand slammed against me.”
Caitlin was supposed to meet Rogerson one afternoon to go shopping for a birthday present for his mother. Caitlin runs into Rina and she doesn’t meet up with Rogerson until later on that evening after the ceremony at school. Earlier in the story, Rogerson takes Caitlin to meet his parents. Rogerson’s father hits him because he wasn’t “on time.” Rogerson is “time conscience” like his father, therefore Caitlin is cautious about being “on time” and letting him know where she is at all times.
Another incident occurs when Rogerson picks Caitlin up from photography class. He sees her talking to Mathew, her photography teacher. Rogerson becomes jealous and accuses her of behavior that she didn’t do. When Caitlin goes home, her parents ask what happened; she makes excuses for his behavior and lies about what happen by telling them that she fail outside by the mailbox.
In the beginning of the relationship, Rogerson disapproves of Caitlin’s friends. He prefers her to hang out with his friends who are older and more mature. As the abuse escalates, he introduces her to drugs to numb her senses and dull the pain. He tries to make up for his behavior by telling her that he loves her, busying her gifts, and allowing her to listen to her music which he dislikes.
Protect Yourself and Getting Help
How can young women protect themselves from relationship violence? The article “Teen Dating Violence Warning Signs” offers these suggestions.
Stay away from boys who put you down, talk negatively about women and drink and or use drugs. Don’t get involved with a boy who doesn’t ask for your opinion and doesn’t respect you or your decisions. Set sexual limits and communicate them clearly. Stay sober in social situations.
It’s important for parents and teens to educate themselves about relationship violence. For more information and resources check out The National Teen Dating Abuse Helpline or Break The Cycle.
Dessen, Sarah. Dreamland. 2000. Speak (ISBN: 978-0-14-240 175-0).
Byrd, Latresha. Teen Relationship Violence. Suite101.