When negotiating for anything, we will frequently hear the word no. This should never be an indication that the conversation is over. Being told “no” is an opening to gather more information and negotiate to get what you want. Consider it an opening position, a good place to start.
Let me explain. Hearing the word “no” when you negotiate really means you haven’t convinced the person you are speaking with of the merits of your proposal. Time to put your conversational skills to work by asking open-ended questions to get more information. They are really the key to getting to the bottom of that “no” answer you received. You have to determine why you were told “no” to move on. You do this by talking to the person. Have a conversation with the person to learn what you need. It could be that they weren’t really paying attention.
For example, my kids hear “no” quite often when asking for things. This happens because I wasn’t paying attention when they ran up to me and then excitedly told me what they want. Usually, all I manage to hear is “Can I dad?” What answer would you give if that’s really all you heard someone say to you? It’s also possible you could have asked at a bad time. Something could be going on to distract them from what you’re saying. The person you are speaking with could be sick or tired. If that’s the case, talking with them can help you find this out, allowing you to switch tactics to something they can agree to. Saying something like “I hope you feel better, I will call your office next week to make an appointment.” Possibly, the person who told you “no” didn’t understand, and rather than asking for you to clarify, they answer “no” rather than appear to be confused. Once again, your conversational skills come to the rescue, allowing you to give more information by asking open-ended questions.
Open-ended questions are the biggest and most powerful tools you have to help you turn a “no” into a yes. Be careful though. You should never ask repetitive questions of a person. You don’t want to be repetitive and redundant. You want to be eloquent and enthusiastic. Instead, ask questions to help you get more information. Tailor what you say to what you need. Until you get that third “no,” you aren’t done yet. Even if you do get that final “no,” you still accomplished a few things to help you in the future. You built a rapport with the “no” giver, showing them you can be polite and at the same time persistent. You practiced conversing with people, and best of all, you gave it everything you had. That always feels good.
Becoming comfortable doing this will take time, so remember to practice this skill. Roll play with people if you need to until you can do this effortlessly. Hearing the word “no” in a negotiation isn’t a death knell. It’s the starting bell for your conversation to begin.