Writing a love letter used to be a great way to get someone’s attention and let them know that you’re really noticing them and would like to get to know them better. Those days have unfortunately passed, and today, it can be seen as a bit creepy to receive a love letter from someone you don’t know, and frankly, might not be particularly interested in. Picture yourself getting a love letter from the little old lady down the street and you begin to see the problem. It is possible to get past this creepiness, but you’re going to have to be careful about what you do and how you do it to garner the right kind of attention from your intended love letter recipient, and avoid the kind of attention that could land you with a restraining order!
In order for the love letter to be well-received, it can’t be out of the blue. You have to have some sort of connection to this person already, or your letter will undoubtedly land flat on its face, and you along with it. This means that you just can’t hand one to some stranger on the street and expect a reaction. You need to have spoken to this person, perhaps felt the first hints of flirtation going on in a conversation already. Let’s say for instance that this person has met you for lunch a few days in a row, and has typically chosen to sit with you as opposed to sitting with others. This is a good start, but creepy can creep right in if you aren’t careful. Warning signs to look out for are rolled eyes, short, abrupt laughter that doesn’t seem to be attuned to a joke you made, and a general lack of interest. Anyone displaying these signs is not going to be receptive to a love letter of any sort.
When you’ve determined that your intended has at least some friendly interest, you can begin to compose your letter. One warning, though. This is not the time to lay it all on the line! Instead, make the letter short, letting this person know that you’ve enjoyed their company at lunch or in whatever other capacity you have been getting to know this person, and would they possibly like to meet you for dinner or perhaps coffee sometime? That’s it. Don’t go into anything else, just leave it hanging like that. If you make the letter too long, it will tread awkwardly into the creepy zone and you WILL be rebuffed. The first note should say exactly what you would say to ask that person out on a simple, daytime date. If you have trouble gathering yourself enough to shut up when necessary, try to channel James Bond. Cool and understated. Just mysterious enough to make the person interested in learning more, but don’t ever reveal that you’re actually a secret agent. Ever. Even if you really are a secret agent. It will go badly, and you will be laughed at.
Success of the first note will move you on to the next note- slightly more personal, but still not gushy. Think “Magnum P.I.” You can have more fun with the note because you’ve gotten to know them on the first or second date basis, so you can expound in the love letter just a bit more. After a fifth date, or the first month, you can turn it up a bit, but you still want to be discreet, and keep the letters playful. Avoid getting serious in your prose. As this person gets to know you better and better, they will enjoy and even expect the letter. After a year, if you feel like the time has come for it, it’s time to go “Pepe le Phew” on the letters. Really turn up the heat, and see what shakes loose. By this time, you should have had the practice of at least six love letters that were relatively mild. Adding some hot sauce to the letters will cut the wheat from the chaff with expediency, and you’ll know pretty quick how the other person feels about you. On one hand, you might get a letter back, but on the other hand, your beloved could come knocking down your door at any moment. Love can be like that sometimes.