Yahoo! is asking Americans how September 11 changed them. Below is an account from a reader.
The bright blue sky was rapidly filling up with huge columns of black and gray smoke. My eyes fixated on the enormous gash on the side of the building, which seemed to be bleeding. Horrified, my eyes were glued to the skyline. My mind couldn’t process the reality I was facing, and the buzz in the CNN newsroom seemed to rise and fall by the second. As I was looking out the window, the second World Trade Center started to fall.
[Your story: How has September 11 changed you?]
Covering September 11, 2001, for CNN as a field producer was a life-changing event for me. Even though I was in the thick of things, you didn’t have to be there to feel the enormous impact of what happened that crisp, clear September day. Back home in Arizona, my parents were horrified, but downright confident about the USA, which comforted me when I felt the world was falling apart.
While I was at times reduced to a pile of tears, my father, Gerald Siegel, the artist, showed his feelings in a completely different way. He was so affected, so furious about what happened that he needed to express himself. Charcoal in hand, he started to draw out his emotions. One canvas turned into another and another, until he had five canvases across, 20 feet long, drawn out. His paintbrush flew across the tightly stretched surface; bringing depth and power into a once blank area. Overwhelmed with the need to make a statement, he dropped everything he was doing and painted for a month solid.
The painting is as shocking as the day itself. I asked him, “What were you thinking?” He looked at me with darts flying out of his brown eyes and said, “I was angry at the futility and at the destruction of innocent people. What immediately comes to mind was Picasso’s ‘Guernica.’ He too was angry at the fascists, just like I was furious with the terrorists.”
The painting is filled with symbols, so vivid; it silences voices and seems to bring out sentiment. In the center of the painting is the American flag being raised, showing the hope of the American people, and the coming together of a nation. The enormous canvas shows hands reaching up frantically out of the rubble of the fallen towers. The time of the attack is illustrated by watches, and wedding rings show the love lost, and families ripped apart because of this tragedy.
I unfortunately have images of September 11, 2001, etched into my being. But I didn’t understand how my father expressed everything I felt so vividly. He explained, “The horrific images were all over the place, stories of the fireman, of the victim’s families, and all the courage of the American people.”
“Did you plan the painting out?” I wondered. He said, “I sit in front of the canvas and work; my emotions pour out through the paintbrush. It’s not something I can plan. This was the reality around me and I put the images together into a solid body of work.”
September, 11, 2001 was a tragic day. It is one that always leaves me in tears, and truthfully, I prefer to focus on the positive. My father also has been reluctant to show this canvas, not really wanted to put his heart on his sleeve for the greater public. It’s been 10 years since that life-changing day. I spoke to my dad and we decided we would both share a bit of our experiences together, with words and images to honor the day and the people who were lost.
If you want to contact Gerald Siegel, you can reach him at [email protected].