We all have been at a point in our lives where we wish we could communicate with someone just a little bit better. Not always understanding what we are lacking in the first place can make it even harder trying to find what we are doing wrong. Communication goes far beyond talking, whether we are trying to or not we are always giving off indirect signals to one another. Unfortunately some of us have much bigger communication issues that can make making friends, talking up for a promotion, or even defending ones self-difficult. Through research and personal experience I have collected together 7 strategies to better communication skills.
Start small. We all wish we could stand in front of a huge crowd and recite a 30 minute speech, but sometimes less is more especially when we are beginning. If you want to better your communication start out with something small, and what is smaller than talking about something you already know and that is relevant. And if you are talking to someone you find intimidating such as a boss start off small then work your way up to more lengthy conversations. And who knows maybe you will find yourself talking about a wide spectrum of topics, which is even better for you. Remember less is more when starting out, and never communicate in a way that is uncomfortable to you, people can tell when other people are uncomfortable and it makes them uncomfortable, and you do not want be to seen as someone who makes others uncomfortable.
2. Confidence. The foundation of all good people skills is confidence and there are many simple things that can take away from your confidence appearance such as; avoiding eye contact, fidgeting, talking/walking with your head down, and others. These things you may not mean as a distraction but that is what they are, and they also can make you look uneasy and lacking confidence. It is possible that you could just have a habit of fidgeting or avoiding eye contact because it makes you feel uncomfortable which many people feel this way about eye contact, but you must understand that people may interpret them as a lack of confidence, which can be a huge unwanted barrier when trying to communicate. How would you feel if every time you tried to communicate with someone they did these things to you? Put yourself in their shoes.
3. Finding an icebreaker. Some of the best conversations begin by talking about something unsuspected like the weather, an event that happen over the weekend, or even by asking a question. This is called breaking the ice it takes the awkwardness away and it is also away to let you see if the person you are trying to communicate with is in a bad mood or in a hurry or perhaps just does not feel like talking at the moment. There are many icebreakers out there good ones too, especially if something interesting or entertaining just happen. Try to stray away from political topics; you do not want to start a political argument all because you tried to break the awkwardness.
4. Listen or as my professor puts it actively listen. Let’s face it you cannot communicate well if you do not listen. Do not just glare into the eyes of the other person or do other things on the side while there are talking to you. People can tell when someone is not listening to them while they are talking, make no mistake about it, it is offending and if the person does not have to speak with you anymore they won’t. And this is not something you want to happen since you are trying to better you communication skills. Remember it is not all the time what you say, a lot of the time it is about being quiet letting the other person speak and you listen. Have strong eye contact and if you can stop what you are doing face them and pay attention.
5. Show interest. Probably one of the worse things in the world is talking to someone and they are clearly not paying attention to you. Show interest when your boss, co-worker, or future friend is talking. You never want to come off as arrogant and like you could literally careless of what the other person is talking about, so show interest and at the appropriate times ask questions, this is how you keep a good conversation good going. This is an example of having good communication skills.
6. Be your best self. Everyone can spot a fake, but do not be so natural to the point you are not showing off your best characteristics. Do not just be yourself be better than yourself be your best self. This will help other people to communicate well with you better, and this is exactly what you want. Just as you are working to build or better your communication skills you want other to communicate with you better as well.
7. Do not seem desperate. Whatever you do not seem overly anxious to speak with someone. It makes you look hyper and unprofessional, so pace yourself and when the time is right you will get your chance to speak with the other person and you will do well because you have bettered your communication skills. As when you look desperate you may put off the other person so if you are asking for assistance they make denied you or send you somewhere else. You should try to appear calm when communicating with others.
With this article I am not promising that all 7 of these suggestions will take away your fear of speaking or your under developed communication skills, because they are just suggestions, but when executed correctly they can be a help with your communication flaws. Remember you may not need to rely on all 7 maybe just one or even a couple. Practice makes better, and nothing is better than our own natural instinct.