Long-running series “Rescue Me” and “Entourage” ended this week, as well as “Curb Your Enthusiasm” which may return in the future. The comedy series has been an HBO mainstay since 2000 dependent on whether Larry David feels he has sustainable ideas for a new season. It’s kind of like Groundhog’s Day. If Larry sees his shadow, there are ten more episodes of “Curb” that year.
“Rescue Me” filmed all of this past season over a year ago while “Entourage” squeezed out another eight episodes before hoping to graduate to a feature film. It’s astounding that “Rescue Me” was able to keep this season’s plots under wraps for so long. The critically-acclaimed finale was only enhanced by the lack of buzz on the internet. Other shows have had to take precautions while not knowing when their end-date will be. “How I Met Your Mother” filmed a final scene with the children (who have to date endured listening to their father’s story for seven years) since, well, they age.
Not many know that a good number of series may not have a finale written but have chosen its last words. It’s not easy to keep things quiet as I’ve learned these from my mailman’s gardener’s mechanic who frequents a Starbucks with Hollywood’s top showrunners. I’m not good with secrets so here are the final words of your favorite hit shows:
“The Closer”: “Case closed!”
“CSI”: “We’re outta yellow tape.”
“CSI: Miami”: “We’re outta sunglasses.”
“The Office”: “If they were only nicer to Dwight, he would never have brought the rifle to work.”
“30 Rock”: “I can’t believe the network just found out we were making fun of them.”
“Kitchen Nightmares”: “I told Gordon not to eat today’s special.”
“Two and a Half Men”: “Charlie? You’re alive?”
“Desperate Housewives”: “I can’t move. No one will buy a house on this block.”
“The Simpsons”: “Happy New Year, 2050!”
“Grey’s Anatomy”: “We’re leaving the hospital to become models!”
“House”: “Stumped by the common cold!”
“Family Guy”: “Cancelled again? See you next fall!”
“American Idol”: “Seacrest? Out!”
“The Good Wife”: “I should have known Mr. Big would cheat on me.”
“Law & Order: Special Victims Unit”: “Wake up, Munch. You’re still in Baltimore. What do you mean ‘it was all a dream’?”
“Mad Men”: “How were we supposed to know Don Draper would jump out of the window? Can I have his office?”
“Jeopardy!”: “What are poor Nielsens, Alex?”
“Wheel of Fortune”: “G__DBY_”
“Cops”: “I begged the cameraman to wear a vest.”
“America’s Most Wanted”: “Got Bin Laden. Now what?”
“Breaking Bad”: “I would have gotten away with it, too, if it weren’t for that dog and those meddling kids!”
“Survivor”: “The tribe has spoken. We just didn’t think they would do that to Probst with the torch.”
“The Apprentice”: “Sorry, we’re not hiring.”
“Jersey Shore”: “Yeah, yeah, tell it to the judge.”
Believe me or don’t. I just can’t to wait to see when the kids of “How I Met Your Mother” find out that they are adopted.