Although the military’s “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” policy was repealed, many environments, from workplaces to personal communities, still look down on those who stray from the normal boy plus girl equals couple mentality, and have an “unacceptable” sexual orientation.
It’s often assumed those glowering with disapprobation are old school; they can’t move with the times – it’s perfectly fine to be gay. It’s even okay to be bisexual or adventurous. Whether or not those condemning being gay are just “old,” homosexuals in many situations face possible ostracism for “coming out.”
Gay rights parades occur throughout the world, and our country. However, this past July in New York City a protest was led on the same day as the first same-sex marriage.
For years, “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” was the official military policy on homosexual men. By “coming out” they risked everything from being isolated from their comrades to being attacked. Being “gay” was synonymous with being weak and feminine; they were lesser because they didn’t desire a woman.
We know it’s impossible to control dreams, so why is it so hard to transfer this to fantasies? My boyfriend says that while sleeping, I say another man’s name. Obviously I don’t choose this, and upon waking I can’t even remember my dream. It’s not a conscious decision to be gay – it’s who they are – so why is it wrong?
And some say it’s not wrong; there are all sorts of gay activist groups, and homosexuals do have rights.
Following this logic, if it’s only religious nuts and old farts that condemn it – who cares? But what if it’s not? Currently, 31 states refuse to permit same-sex marriages, and the Defense of Marriage Act was passed in 2004, specifying marriage be between a man and a woman. Up until 2010 when a Florida appeals court upheld the decision that a gay couple could adopt two foster children, it was illegal for a gay couple to adopt. Similar policies still exist in other states.
So, it would seem, it’s not just the old guys and fanatics, but actually a decent portion of the population.
Just as surprising are sorority/fraternity policies. In today’s world, you can’t say you don’t permit homosexuals, the same way you can’t say you don’t permit African-Americans.
But there are always ways around the rules. Many fraternities and sororities specify that you have to bring a member of the opposite sex on date functions. Policies like that make it easy to fear ostracism if you were to “come out.”
No Greek organization would kick someone out for coming out because of the million-dollar lawsuit they would face. That doesn’t mean they wouldn’t find another reason to proceed with expulsion proceedings. Besides the whole, absurd fear of having a roommate who might “like like” you, and the subsequent fear of harassment, having a sorority woman not into fraternity men (or the reverse) messes with the order.
Being adventuress is, of course, okay; we all know it’s every guy’s secret dream to have a threesome. But not being into guys is a definite no-go.
And though every girl loves her GBF (gay best friend), guys aren’t all that into having a brother who’s not into girls. Girls like talking boys with their GBF – that’s what he’s there for: to commiserate, shop with, and give you pointers. And even guys like a GBF (normally a girl); checking out girls’ asses with a friend who is a girl is apparently a good experience.
So although one might say that a boy liking boys or a girl liking girls is acceptable in our world – that’s a blatant lie. Families are often judgmental too, hoping their child/grandchild/etc will be “fixed” or “this is just a stage.” Friends can be insensitive, not understanding the insecurities faced upon coming out.
And it’s worse for those gay guys who aren’t into fashion and flamboyant colors or those girls who don’t fit the dyke stereotype. It’s inexcusable that people are expected to be a specific way because of their sexual orientation. I mean, a girl who’s into guys can be a tomboy, and a straight guy can be a little effeminate. You’re not hetro or homo sexual because of how you act – it’s because of your sexual orientation.
Although we say our world has come a long way in gay rights, we still have a long way to go. The easiest starting place is the abolishment of laws limiting the rights of same-sex couples. This involves communication with representatives and senators. Also to generate the publicity needed to achieve results, people need to become aware that this is an issue that needs action. Religious organizations, the Church in specific because of its absolute authority, proving understanding of the LGBT community would also help those seeking acceptance.