The day it all began…
As if by coincidence, or perhaps an unrecognized premonition, a few months prior to 9/11, Steven Morello Jr. sent his Dad a letter, telling him how he really felt about him, and how much he loved him. It was the last thing he wrote to him.
Morello Jr. will never forget that fateful morning of September 11, 2001. “I was in Hilton Head SC. I woke up for work at about 10 to 9AM on the 11th. I turned on CNN and got my morning coffee. As the picture came up, I saw the World Trade Center. Tower 1 had a huge hole in it. The reporter didn’t know what happened” .
Morello Jr. than called his mother and asking her if she had spoken to his father since he left for work that morning. Sobbing, she said no, and hung up on him. Then he saw a plane smash into Tower 2. It was at that moment, watching that second plane fly directly into the tower, that he realized what was really happening. “All I could think was “WHERE ARE THE GOD DAMN FIGHTER PLANES?” I called my Dad’s office. Busy signal. Then his cell. Machine. I left many frantic messages. I made probably two hundred phone calls. I paced. I watched the news for hours. I crashed. Slept until 6AM. Jumped up.”
Steven than threw some clothes in a bag, got in his car, and began his frantic journey up Interstate 95. As he entered the DC area, he received a call from his sister saying they had been notified that their father, Steve Morello Sr., was in the hospital.
Heading into Manhattan now, Morello Jr. finds himself stopped in traffic, screaming “he’s ok!” Without knowing why, he calls his boss who tells him to pull over and calm down. The traffic starts to move again. 2 hours go by without anymore updates.”I called my brother in law’s cell. I said “hey Vic, it’s Steve”. I am STEVEN. My Dad is Steve. I don’t know why I did that. He starts screaming to my sister… “JESS! IT’S YOUR DAD!!!”. I start thinking….I thought they were with him…. I say I’m sorry and ask what’s going on… “It wasn’t him”……. oh.”
That day became another day of not knowing. Than another. Days turned into weeks, weeks turned into months. Steven stayed in New York, sleeping no more than 3 to 4 hours a night. He continued searching for his then considered missing father, and advocating for the families. He walked mile after mile around the city daily. He got things organized for his Mom. He argued and interviewed and engaged people into larger issues. He filed missing persons reports and gave DNA samples. He put up missing posters and went to memorials. He cried on news programs and ran around New York City like a “grief stricken lunatic.” 9/11 had taught him that he could get into “battle mode”. From 9/11 he learned that he could step up to the plate. Shitty way to learn that though…
Finally, after several months, remains were found. They had scooped up debris from Ground Zero and brought them to Fresh Kills (the name is an unfortunate coincidence…), which is a dump. They look at stuff on a conveyor belt, and search for remains. Remains one pile. Trash the other. Steven’s Dad’s shin bone and foot went by. They were told they were “lucky”. Some people didn’t get anything. At the funeral home, he insisted on seeing it.
In the years to follow, Steven’s life went into a tailspin. At first, time with his family became more important, but unfortunately did not last. He divorced his wife shortly after, and started spending less and less time communicating with his family. 9/11 took its toll on Steven’s family life. He realized how many ways this tragedy had changed him.
Ironically, the whole event seemed to have left him less afraid. He started doing Kung Fu and found himself diving into things he otherwise would’ve hesitated doing. He stopped drinking a few years after 9/11. But he has become quite dysfunctional in other ways.” I saw things after 9/11 that I will never shake. I actually developed this ability to shut my emotions off. I haven’t cried in years. And in times I used to get angry or frustrated, I often just get an eery calm. Odd”
September 11th taught him that not being involved in politics can get you or a loved one killed. It’s life or death. “The decisions of our representatives have consequences in our daily lives. How could anyone not vote!?? YOU are the government. If it fails, or does something bad, part of the responsibility lies on each of us. I have become significantly more politically active. I even ran for a local office. An office I currently hold.”
So, here we are…10 years later. Has anything really changed? Have we learned anything as a country? “The country has learned that you can’t fight terrorism with conventional warfare. Our greatest results have been through special forces, legitimate intel, and predator drones. Not taking over countries and waterboarding. No more putting our men and women in harm’s way and no more drawn out go-nowhere wars. We have learned that terrorists don’t negotiate like they used to. They will kill people AND themselves.” Steven feels this knowledge alone has made flying safer, that passengers will immediately take down anyone who is remotely suspicious. He also feels that other countries perceive us as “boastful bullies” and that may have contributed to the attacks on 9/11. “Hopefully we will dial that back a notch or two. And concentrate on being great, through the charitable means and the supportive, strong means that we are capable of. Instead of the often imperialist ways we sometimes exhibit.”
Now we end where it all began…Steven had learned the importance of goodbyes. And not leaving someone you love on an angry note.”The stress of everything that happened screwed everything all up. Except with my son. I clung to him a lot. Unfortunately that “good goodbye” thing has become an obsession. I fear that a plane may drop on me, or his school could be hit by terrorists, and I may not have said the perfect goodbye that day. I can’t shake that.”
We go back to those months before 9/11, when Steven Jr. wrote what was to be his final letter to his father, Steven Sr. “The few months after that had a good tone in the air between him and I because of it. It was the best thing I ever did. I rest a little easier knowing he died knowing I loved him.”