Ten Funny Quotes on Acting and Actors

Joanne Woodward once said that “acting is like sex; you should do it, not talk about it.” Perhaps. But the following people decided to talk about it anyways:

Funny acting quotes

“Acting is merely the art of keeping a large group of people from coughing.” This was said by stage actor Sir Ralph Richardson.

“There are five stages in the life of an actor: Who’s Mary Astor? Get me Mary Astor. Get me a Mary Astor type. Get me a young Mary Astor. Who’s Mary Astor?” This humorous observation is from Mary Astor.

Funny acting jokes

“How many actors does it take to change a light bulb? One hundred. One to change the bulb, and ninety-nine to say, ‘I could have done that.’” This joke is from comedian Norm Crosby.

Actors on Themselves

Michael Caine: “I’m a skilled professional actor. Whether or not I’ve any talent is beside the point.”

Arnold Schwarzenegger: “When I was on my way to the podium a gentleman stopped me and said I was as good a politician as I was an actor. What a cheap shot!” Said during his speech at the 2004 Republican National Convention.

Funny actor quotes

“There are two types of actors: those who say they want to be famous and those who are liars.” This is a funny quote from actor Kevin Bacon.

“My billing has always been; ‘and’, or ‘with’, or ‘including.’ That’s all right; let the stars take the blame.” This funny line is from Keenan Wynn.

“Actually, as a kid I wanted to be a tennis player, but I wasn’t good enough, so I became an actor. Since then, I’ve just been lip-locking with gorgeous babes. So, let that be a lesson to all you little tennis players out there.” Friends star Matthew Perry said this quote.

Insults, funny to some

“Acting is the most minor of gifts and not a very high-class way to earn a living. After all, Shirley Temple could do it at the age of four.” Quote said by classic actress Katherine Hepburn

“Whatever it was that this actress never had, she still hasn’t got it.” Said by film critic Bosley Crowther


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