Sometimes we get in our own way. Do you know what I mean? Recently I have been working with one of the contestants for Dancing with the Rogue Valley Stars.
A BIG part of our focus was transforming her perfectionist tendencies. She knew it was preventing her from fully relaxing and allowing her dance movements to flow. When she focused on her mistakes or not messing up a part of the routine it actually increased her tension. Dancing, like most sports, requires grace and ease.
Tension and over thinking just gets in the way of performing to the best of your abilities. Slowly we chipped away at the tendency for perfectionism instead replacing it with confidence and ease.
During our last session together she admitted feeling more pressure than expected. Apparently someone at a local networking meeting commented to everyone within hearing distance that she and her partner were “the one to watch.” That one comment bought back a flood of tension. All of the old feelings of perfection about her performance instantly kicked in. Good thing we had a final session scheduled prior to her performance.
My strategy was to create a reframe. What would be a perception which would embrace her desire to perform exceptionally well, but remove the perfection paralysis? Immediately I knew what she needed!
We explored the downside of dancing for perfection. It was an impossible expectation, setting her up for failure before her feet ever hit the dance floor. So we tweaked it just a little. Instead we focused on dancing beautifully. As soon as I made the suggestion I could feel her tension ease away. She could immediately envision herself dancing beautifully going with the flow, not trying to force anything. Focusing on her presence.
Next we explored some qualities she would like to bring onto the dance floor, to make sure her personality was brought into the performance. I had her identify three personality traits or characteristics. Her first word was caring. Next she decided on inspiration then finally on enthusiasm. Each of those words definitely suited her personality. She knew exactly where she would bring those three qualities into her dance to add vibrancy and personality.
Now instead of being uptight about possibly missing a step, she was excited about her performance. The transition from perfection to beautiful allowed her to embrace her performance, making it hers. She felt ownership in the movements of her dance by infusing her special qualities into the different parts of her routine. I was so appreciative of our call together. I know if we didn’t have this last conversation prior to her performance then she would have continued to struggle with her demons of perfection instead of relaxing into her creative energy to dance beautifully.
Activity: What three qualities or characteristics would you choose for yourself? When deciding on those traits choose words which you feel proud to own up to. Once you decide on those traits then make a decision to consistently bring those qualities into every action you do, into all areas of your life. How would that change the way you approached challenges? Or interacted with people? Claim your words, embrace them and be in integrity choosing to take full responsibility for your actions.