A few years ago, I was the last person who would’ve attested to the wonderful world of therapy. But I will say that once I got into the swing of things and actually started listening, it made sense. Almost three years ago I walked into a counseling center for a workup for insurance provider. I met a counselor and in a few weeks started to open up to her. One thing she said still resounds: “If this is going to work, you can’t hold back. You need to open up.”
It then clicked … it made sense. If I was going to get better and get a grip on my life and retake control, I needed to open up. I couldn’t hold back. I needed to let myself be open and be free. Otherwise this wasn’t going to work. I began just spilling my guts, not holding back, telling everything. I didn’t care if I was judged or what happened. I knew I would get an objective third-party explanation and I would get a direction to take. My counselor was leaving and asked me if I was willing to be transferred to another one. I was afraid at first, but once again: “If I didn’t open up, this wasn’t going to work.” I then met the counselor who was going to help me the rest of the way.
A lot has changed since then. I started being honest with everyone. Sometimes it went well. Sometimes not so good. But it all came out in the wash. I’ve had to burn some bridges, but also built some new ones. Each time I’ve visited with my counselor, it always starts with “So, what’s up?” I explain what’s going on, how I’ve dealt with it, and concerns I have. Through it all, I still don’t hold back. Sometimes, she will give me homework, something along the lines of here’s this worksheet I want you to take the time and read it and fill it out for next time. Like I said before, this only works if you do everything and open up honestly.
My counselor is very cool. Sometimes I drive her nuts, but other times, I’ll crack her up with my comedy. It’s more like friends talking than something clinical, sterile and boring. She makes it interesting and she’s very good at what she does. She also doesn’t pull punches. She tells it like it is and sometimes she tells me what I don’t want to hear.
To sum this up, try therapy. Here are some key things to use when undergoing this.
Be prepared for the long haul – this isn’t going to go away and it’s not going to cure itself, so be prepared to spend a year or two maybe three to get through what you need
Find someone you’re comfortable with – You may have to try out two or three therapist before finding someone you can completely open up with. It isn’t going to work if you can open up and be completely honest with.
Don’t hold back – You have to completely open up. Don’t hold anything back. Any credentialed facility cannot disclose any one personal information. It’s protected information and anything in your file STAYS in your file… unless you’re threatening suicide, then they have to report it.
Do your research – Research any facility before you enter into anything … look for results.