You know her. There’s one in every friendship circle. She’s Supermom. Able to stir cookies with one hand while mopping the floor with the other. She attends every PTA meeting. She may even be the president. She’s a room mother. Her kids play sports. They belong to Girl Scouts, Boy Scouts and anything else that’s available. What’s more, she helps them fulfill the requirements. Is she really a Supermom though? What life lessons is she teaching her kids if she’s right there to solve all their problems and clean up all their messes? Real Supermoms don’t take the fall for their kids.
Why don’t real Supermoms take the fall for their kids? It doesn’t matter that company is coming and their rooms are a mess. It doesn’t matter if they don’t do it the way you like it done. It doesn’t matter if they break every glass in the cupboard trying to put them away. Buy cheaper glasses until kids learn to do it right. If you spend even one minute taking care of your kids responsibilities, you are doing them a disservice. Taking the fall for your kids teaches them nothing but laziness and irresponsibility.
They will make mistakes and that’s OK. They will put away dishes that are not perfectly clean. They will stuff dirty clothes into that corner in the back of the closet. They will leave food under their beds to spoil, rather than putting it away. They will squeeze the toothpaste all over the bathroom counter, mirror and in other inexplicable places. Do not clean it up. I repeat, do not clean it up.
Do call them on it. Take them to the problem. Insist they remedy the problem they created. This is not your problem. This is their problem. By cleaning up after them, you make it your problem, physically. By complaining and worrying about it, you make it your problem, mentally. Be a true Supermom, not a trophy mom. Be strong. Let your kids know this is their problem, not theirs. Let them solve it, so they can learn and do better in the future.
What if they do nothing? Well then, they own the embarrassment as well, don’t they? I’m a Grandma now, so I can say this. Kids today are spoiled. Why are they spoiled? Because their parents take on every problem or slight embarrassment they go through. What’s more, they don’t allow them to suffer through their own mistakes. They clean up after them well before they can learn the consequences of their actions. Then parents wonder why kids keep repeating the same behavior over and over. They can’t learn if you don’t let them fall and recover on their own.
Let your kids be the ones to suffer embarrassment. When company comes and their room smells like the local landfill, don’t take the fall. Real Supermoms know insisting kids keep their own room clean gives them practice for the future. Kids never learn responsibility unless they shoulder it on their own. When they spill something, who should be running for the mop? Well, I’ll give you a hint. It’s not Supermom. Supermoms unite. Do your kids a favor. Stop taking the fall for their mistakes. It’s one of those things they’ll thank you for later.
More from Jaipi:
Five Smart Habits of Successful Kids
Five Places Tweens Can Work Before Getting a Real Job
Standing Your Ground with Defiant Kids