Christmas

Christmas time is almost here.
Greatest gift giving time of year.
I got a special gift for you.
Look under your bed.
Look under your shoes.
Look under the Christmas tree.
If it is mistletoe you seek.
Saint Nick has come early for you.
Time to eat.
Time to chew.
I watch him eat the meat straight off the bone I brought for my dog.
It took me years to find the perfect one that he won’t decline.
He hates the blonds, the brunettes, and even the whites.
I stalked the mall, the playground and even the carousal.
Finally I found her so small and pale.
As I wrapped her in a box complete with a bow.
I thought of Saint Nick and his Christmas elves in a row.
I thought of my mother putting presents under the tree.
The biggest one was always for me.
Christmas time comes once a year.
It is a holiday that brings me great cheer.
It is my favorite holiday.
I love it more than my own birthday.
I got presents all of my life and now I get to give.
So to the women wrapped under the tree, I give you this knee.
Happy wacked out Christmas from me.