Women today have high expectations, and rightfully so. We are achieving tremendous success, both academically and professionally; becoming well educated, top performing employees who strive for perfection in every aspect of our lives. But when it comes to finding and keeping love, expecting perfection could lead to disaster.
From a young age, girls envision the path we want our lives to take. We want a fulfilling career, a fairytale wedding and a dream husband who we have conjured up by combining all of the best aspects of the men we have encountered. But when we grow up and start looking for this man, who is painstakingly described in a laundry list of traits we carry mentally, or sometimes physically; he proves to be as elusive as Cupid himself. Take a moment and remember that you are not perfect; and your one true love doesn’t have to be perfect, he just has to be perfect for you.
If you don’t already have one, take a piece of paper and make a list of all the traits you want in your perfect mate. No, really. Take a minute and make the list. Now, crumple it up and throw it on the ground. This guy does not exist. Now, pick up that list and flatten it out. Highlight the five things you cannot compromise on and scratch out everything else. This is your soul mate. He’s not perfect but you can still write an amazing love story.
If you were to closely examine the traits you listed you will find that many of the most desirable traits are mutually exclusive. Does Brad Pitt’s twin who loves you more than life, or himself, really exist? Perhaps. But how much time will you waste looking for him when you’ve already met a cute guy who goes out of his way to make you happy? And even if you haven’t met this guy yet, be open to him. I was determined to find someone who was tall, dark and rich. Who I found, and have been madly in love with for the last decade, is short, blond and willing to work hard. True love comes in many different forms and if you are bound by a list of unrealistic expectations because of success in other areas of your life, you may miss out on one of life’s great gifts.