It was our first time traveling abroad. At some time in the preparation you finally get fed up with all the suggestions and advice from the multitude of umm… lets call them well intentioned people. Advice, advice, advice… will you people just shut up and leave us alone already. We are not stupid. We are relatively intelligent adults.
As “relatively intelligent adults” we researched Chile on the internet and in books till our brains were mush. And we began to pack. On the day we left LaPine Oregon with our Ford Taurus rental car for LAX I was starting to have doubts on my packing ability. I wasn’t exactly sure but I didn’t think I should have to jump up and down on the trunk to make it close and aren’t you supposed to be able to see out the rear view mirror. Honey did we forget anything? Were’s the baby? Oh, she’s in there. Apparently that wasn’t the answer she was looking for! Why is it women get so worked up over little details?
Finally, we are on the road! An hour behind schedule and a very irritated time nazi behind the wheel (yes that would be me). I am starting to relax a little and get in the groove. You know running the time schedule and doing mental mathematic gymnastics in my head to figure our average needed speed and maximum pit stop times to be on schedule. I just about have it all recalculated and my loving, wonderful, hormonal, 6 months pregnant wife informs me that she has to pee. What? Seriously? You just went. By the way guys that is not something I recommend you ever say… ever. So we stopped at a convenient gas station with a mini mart. As I am browsing the store for comfort food, also called stress relief food, I spotted a package of Depends and had them in my hands before thinking better of it. And at that moment I heard a sweet voice say “what are those for?” Um, well, (think you idiot, think, you can’t tell her you were thinking of putting them on her) I was just thinking how grandpa could really use some. And I quickly put them back. As I turned around the sweet voice did not match the picture in front of me. Hands on hips, head cocked to one side, head slightly down, eyes screwed up. You know, at that moment she kinda looked like a mad bull ready to charge. Oh, carp! I am so caught.
Finally loaded down with drinks and comfort food, a momentarily empty bladder, and no adult diapers. Start the car, put it in reverse, stop the car, slowly pull forward, put it in park. Slowly open the door and dig for diapers. The smaller version. Recalculate.
Stay tuned for Part 2: