The idea of your child being bullied can strike fear in your heart. While most people think that it’s the popular, athletic kids who do the bullying, the fact is that even these kids can be and are bullied just as other kids are. Bullying is not an issue that arises due to a kid being mean necessarily, but instead it has to do with power and dominance over another individual. Every child is unique, and so kids fitting in any clique or social circle at school can be pushed around and bullied by other kids, and sometimes this happens even by kids in that very same social circle.
While bullying is becoming more and more prominent in terms of media attention and school awareness, the fact is that for every child that is bullied, there is also a bully. Many parents have been surprised and even shocked to learn that their child is actually the “bad guy” in such a situation and is trying to exert dominance over or otherwise manipulate or control another child. This certainly isn’t the picture-perfect image any parent has of their child, and yet it happens. So what can you do when your child is the bully?
Understand Why This Is Happening. Keep in mind that this is not an issue of child who has a mean streak necessarily, but most often is because a child feels the need to dominate or exert control over another. This can happen for many reasons, and part of resolving the issue will involve you understanding what is causing this behavior in your child.
Set Firm Rules and Expectations. If your child is a bully, there are some underlying issues that need to be addressed, but this absolutely does not excuse the actions. Every child should be allowed to feel comfortable and safe in an environment such as a school, organizations, or even simply roaming around the neighborhood freely, and your child is preventing this from happening with another child and likely is doing a great deal of emotional harm to this other child. As a parent, you need to make it very clear that this behavior cannot continue, and you need to set punishments for what will happen if it does.
Work With the School. If this issue is occurring at school, as many case of bullying do, you will want to contact the school. The school may already be aware of the situation, but they can also set up peer mediation and private counseling sessions with your child, too. The school counselor may also be able to help you identify issues at home, such as with siblings or other relatives, that are contributing to the bullying behavior in your child.
Learning that your child is a bully can be emotional and even heartbreaking, but the fact is that now is the time to step up as a parent and correct this behavior. Follow these steps to help give your child the structure, guidance, and support he or she needs so that this behavior stops.
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