What is happiness? How would you define your own? Through losing my job in the past year(not once but twice), I have contemplated my personal meaning of happiness. Is it finding your own particular comfort zone? Is it heaven on earth if you set the wheels in motion and that vehicle provides the mechanism for finding your true love or dream come true?
I think it’s safe to say we all need to take a step back and be introspective when it comes to true happiness. Sometimes these earth shattering moments-such as a forced career change or the end of a relationship simply force us to think about what we truly want in life. It’s truly hard to blame God(although we often do it) or anyone when you have time to concentrate on your own life, goals and aspirations-for whatever reason.
I’ve thought a bunch over the past few years as I slowly transition into my 40’s. What is happiness? What truly makes me happy and how would I be the happiest in life if given the choice? The proposition isn’t an easy one and perhaps that’s why we are often found with a large bulk of time that allows for self discovery.
Perhaps we are happiest working a lower paying job that allows for more family time. I have been reading a lot during my second time of unemployment lately-one of the books I opted for was a John Grisham book entitled “The Street Lawyer”. To sum up the story quickly-a wealthy attorney gives up his role in a prestigious firm after a near death experience to become a low paid lawyer for the homeless. Maybe a drastic career change isn’t the fix all for many of us who are doing soul searching while looking for our next gig or career opportunity. But perhaps we sometimes settle for the next job to come along instead of searching for the true meaning of happiness in what we can or should do with the rest of our lives.
While watching “The Pursuit of Happyness” with Will Smith, I was almost teary eyed as the main character goes from a homeless man to a well to do stock broker. Sure, it’s a true story and it romanticizes the thought of money bringing true happiness. While that can be the case, it simply doesn’t have to. I guess the point of my entire theme here is that happiness depends on the individual. We are often too quick to criticize people who choose lower paying careers when it’s obvious that individual has more talent to achieve greater success. In a world that revolves around money, we often think the highest paying position will afford us the opportunity to be happier. Money=happiness is not a formula any of my generation created. It was created years ago and meant to be the standard for many people trying to survive in an always fluctuating economy.
So what was the end result of my soul searching? One of the things I realized about the jobs I worked in the past was that I loved to help and talk to people. I am the nurturing type and sincerely enjoy one on one conversation even when others tend to believe it to be boring. I am of the school of thought that every single person you encounter has something important to say that could be an asset to you-not just that but it makes other people feel truly special when you take the time to actually listen. So for me, happiness just means being around people I can develop relationships with. I came to this conclusion somewhere in the midst of a job I lost just a few months ago. Now, with more time to ponder the future and recall the past, I will surge forward in a career in insurance(where I can meet and help people). I often asked myself during the tough times questions like, “what is happiness to me” and “what is my heaven on earth”. It turned out the answer was quite simple. Talking and engaging with people to get a better understanding of different people who make the world go round is where I envision myself for the future. It is true that we sometimes don’t appreciate the differences among us. I have found that happiness can be achieved by stepping back for a few minutes each day, appreciating the ones you love most and taking the time to analyze yourself(not too much).
Happiness often comes at the point when you realize your life isn’t the big struggle you believe it is and you settle in for what you look forward to doing in the future. In other words, for some-the equation of happiness=money might work and that’s fine, too. For others, happiness might mean something completely different that doesn’t revolve around financial success. We are all created equal but unanimously different.
If we cherish these differences-even if those differences are abundant in our own personal character, we can grow to become stronger individuals based on our own trust in our own adequacy and development. I remember when I was around 20 years old and I began to ponder about figuring out ways to make myself happy. It’s something that evolves over time and doesn’t come that easy. The pursuit of happiness isn’t just a speculative risk we engage in-it’s an absolute art. The sooner we figure this out, I believe, the sooner we will be more productive as human beings and be able to offer much more to society, our families and ourselves. One thing I have learned from these observations is that our definitions may differ but we can all strive for the same thing-trying to be happy as we endure incredibly tough moments in life. We can also cherish the memories we make with others to the fullest and be able to truly appreciate life, love and jobs as we become more comfortable in our own skin. In other words, happiness=the realization that the art of finding happiness sometimes does actually=happiness.