Before I had children, I would be out and see mothers dressed in, let’s say less than flattering clothing, and think to myself, “Have they just given up?”
Now having two children of my own I realize the answer…sometimes.
I must now share one of my most humiliating fashion moments. Prepare yourself.
First let me explain that on this dark day, I decided to make a “quick” trip to Target, subconsciously knowing that there is no such thing anymore, but I digress. I quickly threw on a t-shirt, my trusty black cropped sweats, (the horror), and some awful pink flip-flops. I thew my hair into a messy ponytail, and sans make-up, the girls and I headed out.
I was doing a pretty good job of keeping the kids in (or at least near the cart), avoiding the princess section, and grabbing just the necessities: milk, bread, fashion magazine, Twix.
I spy, of course, my former boss in the card section. She is looking glamorous and well put together as ever. I try to swerve left, but alas am spotted. We have an awkward, short conversation, then I excuse myself as my youngest child is sweeping the floor with her belly.
Humiliated that I was spotted out looking so slobby, I slink through the checkout and head home to fill the kiddie pool. Preparing to change into my bathing suit, I realize that there is a rather large hole in the ass of my favorite sweats. In addition, I have luckily worn white panties beneath them, further advertising my homeless lady ensemble.
The moral of the story is: I had become that woman that I had dismissed as pathetic not so long ago. Soon after that my younger sister staged a sweatpant intervention. After confronting me, she confiscated all but 2 pair and forced me to shop for some actual suitable clothing.
So, I’m wondering…what is the minimum effort that moms should put into their appearance before leaving the house?