A divorce or separation can cause extreme stress on a family, especially when there is a custody battle to follow. Several divorced couples cannot get along, leaving the children to suffer emotionally in a high conflict family. In 1997 parallel parenting was recognized. Parallel parenting is a form of joint-custody which begins with a plan.
This plan will outline the week by week schedules of each parent allowing both parents to play an active role in the children’s lives. Children are to live in each household equally and the parents are to be primarily responsible for the children within their designated period of time. Parallel parenting will solve the parental differences regarding rules and routines in each household.
The majority of custody cases over the years have been granted by one or the other parent obtaining full custody even though either parent was not deemed unfit. In previous custody cases, shared custody was rejected due to lack of communication between the parents, a simple “we do not get along” is all it took for one or the other parent to gain full custody. This causes the parents to begin a ‘tug of war’ with the children. This can also cause negative comments and gestures to begin.
Parallel parenting begins with disengagement. The parents are to not communicate to each other unless it regards a medical appointment, school issue or is an emergency. If communication is necessary the court order will state how the communication is to be done, either by phone, text, or email.
Several parents have battled multiple times in court; this can last several painful years. Many have suffered from being the non-residential parent and deemed just that throughout the several court cases due to the lack of communication that exists between both of the parents. Although this seems like a horrible one-sided method, the laws seem to justify one parent having full custody as being the right thing to do, although in fact it is more than often the cause of more extreme problems.
Parallel Parenting may be a solution to these custody issues. Children suffer several effects from being the rope in their parent’s tug of war.
A person’s childhood that is lived a negative way can lead to rebellion. This can also result in emotional strain affecting the success of the child in school and even further into their careers. Parallel parenting can solve emotional strain on children allowing them a life of love and happiness.