That year, there was no Christmas and no New Year. Time just froze, stuck in an eternity of emptiness.
Neighborhood kids were bragging about their Christmas gifts and plans for New Year’s eve. Andy will be celebrating in the Bahamas, and Casey’s extended family was headed to Italy. Everyone had plans and for few moments, I had them too.
I will go and see my grandmother in New York. Sure, she will be happy to spend the holidays with me. It has been almost 5 years since I last saw her. Her feisty ways were reassuring to this orphan, they were my security blanket and a promise that things will change for the better.
It didn’t take long for that blanket to get shredded into hundreds of little pieces, and that is where all plans I ever had died a silent death.
Now, looking at Andy,Casey, Tim and Jonah, I try so hard to revive my dead future. As if bringing it back to life will erase marks left by all these years.Winters spent looking for generous donors while trying to stay warm in a street corner, long and hungry summer days; and all those nights I nursed my crushed teenage self..permanent tattoos on my soul.
But, that year the emptiness engulfed me further. My friends were busy celebrating but Christmas and New Year did not arrive at my doorstep.I didn’t even have a door! Time froze, I could not free myself from the chains, and my fate was decided..without emotions, without soul.
Black hole of justice was waiting for me..a long journey ahead.