“I’d like to teach the supervillian world to sing, in perfect harmony! I’d like to buy the supervillian world a Coke and keep it company! That’s the song I sing!”
“I’d like to teach the supervillian world to sing, in perfect harmony! I’d like to buy the supervillian world a Coke and keep it company! That’s the song I sing!”
“I’d like to teach the supervillian world to sing, in perfect harmony! I’d like to buy the supervillian world a Coke and keep it company! That’s the song I sing!”
The vocalist of the slightly altered Coca Cola jingle was a large black parrot with magnificient baby blue eyes. The bird was standing court right smack dab in the middle of a long gigantic rectangular table singing with a can of Coca Cola in one of its wings. Normally this sight would be extremely unusual anywhere else in the universe, but on Jytrimillya it was totally normal. As the bird continued to sing you got to see in great detail his unique bodily features. From the bird’s neck to his clawed feet were five horizontal layers of beautiful ruffled feathers and his wings were the same with the exception that four of the horizontal layers were long but the fifth layer was shorter. It gave the impression that the bird had four fingers and a thumb rather than wings. As the bird still continued to sing you could see his big gleaming row of perfect white teeth. The bird’s name was Burke the Bird and he was the superpet of Shamrock Girl’s archnemesises, Ebonnyra and Ivorysour. And like his owners he was bad to the core.
The Main Lounge of the JC Club was at the behest of the supervillians divided into two sides. On each side of the room were two long gigantic rectangular tables. Each was further marked with a S.V. and the other one with a S.H. The table with the S.V. was the supervillian table and the table marked S.H. was the superhero table. Also on each side of the room were one seat, two seat, three seat, four seat and other different sized tables. Each side also was liberally decorated with pictures of deceased supervillians and superheros, cutout newspaper articles of various crimes and the foiling of those crimes, several clocks, comfy couchs, chairs, desks, internet stations, several television sets, vending machines, telephone booths and much much more.
Currently in the Main Lounge there were no other superheros or their superpets. And as they looked at Burke the Bird singing they now knew why. Shamrock Girl and Emeralda were the only ones. Shamrock Girl sighed heavily but with a determined gait led Emeralda over to a two seater table by the window on the superhero side of the lounge. Both Shamrock Girl and Emeralda seated themselves and their trays of food floated down to each of them right in front of them. Even though Shamrock Girl and Emeralda were extremely hungry, they both just nibbled at their food pausing periodically to give each other weary looks. Both of them knew that they should just leave but they were both just so proud and stubborn that they couldn’t bring themselves to do it. In unison, Shamrock Girl and Emeralda both sighed and waited for the inevitable.
While the superhero side of the Main Lounge was practically empty, the supervillian side was the complete opposite. From the looks of it there seemed to be about a hundred supervillians littered all over the supervillian side and all of them were currently watching Burke the Bird sing which is why noone noticed their arrival. Burke, they noticed, had switched from the slightly altered Coca Cola jingle to a lewd song about a superhero named SharpPoint that Shamrock Girl personally knew was a hell of a nice guy and one of the hardest working superheros on the planet. Shamrock Girl’s blood slowly started to boil. “Leave!” she told herself. “Leave!” But Shamrock Girl stayed right where she was and she knew that Emeralda would do the same. Shamrock Girl and Emeralda were jolted out of their internal struggles by a roar of thunderous applause. “Thank you! Thank you! I love you all!” Burke the Bird cooed while blowing kisses to supervillians and a few superpets all over the room. “Now for my next number…..”
But Burke the Bird’s next number would forever remain a mystery because at that very moment he had spotted Shamrock Girl and Emeralda sitting alone on the superhero side of the Main Lounge. At first, Burke’s beautiful baby blue eyes registered mild surprise but it took only a nanosecond for them to register something else. Pure wicked mischief. Burke the Bird then smiled innocently over at them then said, “Well, well, well, everybody, it seems that we have two guests.” He then pointed one of his finger-like wings at the table where Shamrock Girl and Emeralda sat. In unison, all heads and bodies swiveled around to the direction Burke the Bird was pointing at. Burke then said, “May I present to you, Shamrock Girl and her big booty! Ooops, i’m so sorry Emeralda honey, I mean Shamrock Girl and Emeralda the Cat, otherwise known as the little booty!” Within a nanosecond, Shamrock Girl’s face had gone beet red and Emeralda’s was quickly catching up to hers as the supervillians and their superpets hooted with laughter. The loudest of course coming from Ebonnyra and Ivorysour who were making their way to the front of the supervillian pack while laughing hysterically. Burke the Bird glowing from the response of his brethren and not wanting to lose the limelight that he so desperately loved flew quickly over to the superhero side of the Main Lounge and landed on top of a vending machine cattycorner to the table Shamrock Girl and Emeralda were sitting at.
Once on top of the vending machine, Burke the Bird strutted and swaggered around on it for a couple of nanoseconds before coming to a halt right smack dab in the middle of the vending machine. All eyes including Shamrock Girl’s and Emeralda’s blazing ones were on him. All of a sudden a frown appeared out of no where on Burke the Bird’s face then he looked down directly at Shamrock Girl and Emeralda and said loudly, “It must be so hard not having any friends, I of course, don’t have that problem myself you know. I’m a total peach and everybody loves me!” Another loud roar of applause exploded from the supervillians and their superpets now all standing at the center of the Main Lounge that divided the room. Ebonnyra and Ivorysour were standing upfront and in the middle. Each of them were looking at Burke the Bird with loving pride. Burke slowly lowered his head and eyes and smiled modestly.
“Humph!” Shamrock Girl said loudly. Burke the Bird’s head whipped up instantly. “What was that?” he sneered. It took Shamrock Girl thirty full seconds before she decided that she really didn’t want any trouble even though she was itching to tell Burke the Bird off, she decided in the end that he wasn’t worth it so she put her hand to her throat and with forced sweetness said, “I didn’t say anything I was just clearing my throat.” And to enforce what she had just said, she loudly cleared her throat and coughed a couple of times. Emeralda snickered loudly. Burke the Bird’s baby blue eyed gaze narrowed and shifted to a still snickering Emeralda then back again at Shamrock Girl. Then his baby blue eyed gaze took both Shamrock Girl and Emeralda in simultaneously. He then put both of his hand-like wings on his hips. In an extremely mean tone he uttered, “If you bitches got something to say, then-say-it!” Both Shamrock Girl and Emeralda froze. “Oooh!” Ebonnyra squealed loudly then cupped her hand to her mouth and Ivorysour hot on her tail as usual said, “That’s my boy, get her!” The supervillians and their superpets laughed again but their eyes remained transfixed on Shamrock Girl, Emeralda and Burke.
There were a lot of things that Shamrock Girl hated in life and being called a “bitch” was at the very top of her list. With pure controlled fury, Shamrock Girl pushed her chair deliberately back, stood up and looked up into Burke the Bird’s mean challenging eyes. “You said that everybody loves you but let me set the record straight, everybody does not love you, including me and Emeralda because you are mean, nasty and rotten to the core. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t hate you but I certainly don’t love you either and I think that I speak for a lot of people, animals and insects!” Shamrock Girl hissed through clenched teeth. Emeralda began to clap loudly. Shamrock Girl grabbed her chair savagely then sat back down hard making the chair moan. Burke the Bird now totally enraged mostly from learning that everybody in the universe didn’t love him like they were supposed to rapidly searched his mind for a retort that would hurt Shamrock Girl to her very soul and after a couple of nanoseconds thought of something. All pretenses of false niceties gone, he spat with pure hatred, “Well at least I have a lot of people who love me!” He then pointed one of his finger-like wings straight at Shamrock Girl. “On the other hand, everybody whoever loved you is currently suckin’ dirt six feet under except for this loser!” He then pointed at Emeralda.
Instantly, a look of pure pain shot across Shamrock Girl’s face as she thought of her parents then misty tears began to involuntarily form in her eyes. However, the pain was totally forgotten when she saw Emeralda utter three simple words, “Super bitch slap!” For two nanoseconds Shamrock Girl looked at her cat with pure happiness and pride. But it took Shamrock Girl another nanosecond to regain her senses and pure horror filled her insides as she saw Emeralda’s left paw instantly grow thirteen feet tall and surface within mere millimeters of Burke the Bird’s startled face. As the great big paw momentarily moved backward, Shamrock Girl instantly uttered two words, “Super strength!” And within a half of a nanosecond her hand also grew thirteen feet tall then collided with Emeralda’s giant paw trying to prevent it from bitch slapping Burke the Bird across the face. It was this struggle that saved Burke the Bird from a massive amount of pain. Burke the Bird let out a series of terrified screams as he cried for help. Unfortunately as Shamrock Girl and Emeralda continued to struggle the other supervillians and their superpets were too frightened to intervene in fear that they would be the recipients of not one but two great big bitch slaps. They watched helplessly from the middle of their side of the Main Lounge.
Burke the Bird was jumping around the vending machine top like he had ants in his pants. Twice he had tried to fly off to safety but Shamrock Girl and Emeralda’s giant limbs were blocking his escape. For a few nanoseconds all three parties involved froze when they heard an extremely loud crash somewhere behind them but quickly picked up right where they had left off. After six full minutes, Emeralda’s paw for an instant broke free of Shamrock Girl’s grasp and struck. Emeralda’s paw missed Burke the Bird’s face by one millimeter but instead hit the vending machine top. The force of the blow made the vending machine wobble unsteadily for a few nanoseconds. So determined was Burke the Bird to avoid the blow as well as stay on the wobbling vending machine that he eventually lost his balance and toppled over backward and kept rolling until he fell with a loud scream behind the vending machine that he had been happily strutting around on only a short time ago. Simultaneously all the supervillians and superpets screamed. Not too long afterward, the vending machine finally fell sideways to the floor with a deafening crash. Food, drink and glass flew everywhere.
“Emeralda, please stop!” Shamrock Girl pleaded. “Please stop for me, precious, please stop!” That did it! After Shamrock Girl used her special pet name for Emeralda, her giant paw began to shrink and shrink until finally it was its normal size again. Emeralda was sitting in her chair at the two seat table hunched over, crying. Two nanoseconds later, Shamrock Girl was at her side comforting her. After a couple of nanoseconds, Emeralda lifted herself up to her full height then gently took Shamrock Girl’s face into her two front paws and again with expert eyeball telepathy said, “I don’t regret what I just did, I only wished that I got to slap that hateful little monster.” Tears still streaming down her face she held Shamrock Girl’s face more firmly with her paws then said from deep down in her heart. “You are my owner, sister and best friend and I love you girl! Always remember that your pain is my pain. When you suffer, I suffer. That is one thing that we will always share. Always know that when anybody hurts you when i’m around I will always do anything that I can to protect you. That’s just how it is, girl.” Emeralda then lifted her left paw and fiercely brushed her face. Tears were now brimming in Shamrock Girl’s eyes as she hugged her still sobbing cat tightly. Both Shamrock Girl and Emeralda started violently when they heard a voice behind them. They both turned around and saw Burke the Bird’s head peeking out from the overturned vending machine.
“Well, well, well isn’t that touching!” Burke the Bird said sarcastically. The rest of his body then emerged and he stomped out over to the other side of the vending machine trying to put as much distance as he could from Emeralda and Shamrock Girl. After a few nanoseconds, he came to a brisk stop and then began to brush the dust and cobwebs from himself angrily while taking off alot of feathers in the process. When the supervillians saw that the coast was clear and it was safe to go over they all rushed over to the superhero side of the Main Lounge where Burke was still fiercely brushing himself off. Ebonnyra and Ivorysour were in the lead. Once the supervillians and superpets reached him they all asked him in unison, “Are you all right?” Burke the Bird nodded his head. “Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I’m fine.” he said angrily. A nasty curse word was just about to erupt from his mouth when he looked up at his brethren and was immediately taken aback. His baby blue eyes were staring up at many different colored eyes all filled with love, fear and concern.
If there was one thing that Burke the Bird relished above being the center of attention, playing mean tricks on superheros or looking down on poor people it was being loved. Now it was Shamrock Girl and Emeralda’s turn to be taken aback. They continued to look on with shock as Burke the Bird’s mouth began to quiver and real live tears formed in his eyes and rolled down his face. Ebonnyra bent down and hugged Burke tightly. Ivorysour hot on her tail as usual hugged both of them. His extremely long and muscular arms circling the both of them several times over. The supervillians and the superpets looked on proudly and quietly. Emeralda and Shamrock Girl looked at each other, disbelief was written all over their faces. It was Emeralda who finally broke the silence. “I can’t believe it! Burke the Bird is acting like a normal civilized human being.” Emeralda then looked down at the floor, shame was spreading like a virus all over her face. Fifteen nanoseconds later, she then looked back up again and said in a strangled way, “Well, dammit if he can act like a normal civilized human being then so can I. I’m going over to say that i’m sorry to him even though I don’t mean it, but i’m still going to say that i’m sorry anyway because it’s the right thing to do.” She then lowered her eyes then quickly raised them back up and looked into Shamrock Girl’s eyes and said quietly, “I’m sorry about all of this, girl.”
Emeralda then shifted her gaze from Shamrock Girl to the fallen damaged vending machine and all of the food, drink and glass on the floor. Emeralda sighed loudly then said, “After I apologize to Burke, I am going to clean up this mess and I also have to pay for the damage that I caused.” Shamrock Girl then tenderly squeezed Emeralda’s paw. A rueful smile appeared on her face.
“Well, there goes our bonus money shopping spree!” she said. Emeralda and Shamrock Girl immediately started to giggle. Emeralda again raised her left paw and swiped at the last vestiges of tears left on her face. When she was finished she made a motion forward with her left paw. “Well, let me get this over with.” Emeralda then jumped down from the chair and started to walk over to Burke and the supervillians. Shamrock Girl was right by her side.
Both Shamrock Girl and Emeralda had taken no more than two steps when they stopped dead in their tracks. Burke the Bird was still hugging Ebonnyra and Ivorysour like he was a few minutes earlier but his position had changed slightly. He now had the right side of his face pressed against Ivorysour’s massive chest. The left side of his face was clearly visible. So there was absolutely no mistaking the half smirk on the left side of his face and the malicious glee in his left eye. “Do me a favor and put me down for minute, Ivy.” Both Shamrock Girl and Emeralda heard Burke the Bird say to Ivorysour then clapped his muscular shoulder briskly. Ebonnyra gave him a quick kiss on the cheek before Ivorysour lowered him gently to the floor. All the supervillians including Ebonnyra and Ivorysour all waited expectantly.
Burke the Bird quickly looked over at Shamrock Girl and Emeralda then flashed them his lopsided smirk again then he turned back to the supervillians, the smirk now gone. He then put one of his hand-like wings to the top of his head then dramatically said, “My fellow supervillians and superpets, this has been a harrowing experience that I have been put through today and I want to thank all of you from the bottom of my heart for your love and support but unfortunately my pride and vanity are saying that I hate for you to see me like this.” He then paused and looked right over at Shamrock Girl and Emeralda then said slowly and deliberately, “IF THE TRUTH BE TOLD, I NEED A COUPLE OF MINUTES TO COMPOSE MYSELF. CAN I ASK ALL OF YOU TO SIMPLY TURN YOUR BACKS FOR A FEW MOMENTS.” A huge sea of nods and “yes’” filled the room along with one unusually loud and squeaky, “Of course, of course!” For the second time since entering the Main Lounge this evening both Shamrock Girl and Emeralda groaned loudly because again they recognized another voice. After craning their necks they saw in the very back of the crowd, Hector Truth, otherwise known as Truthy the Superhero turning his back. It was a well known fact among superheros and supervillians on the planet of Jytrimillya that Truthy the Superhero was the most honest person on the planet. Both Shamrock Girl and Emeralda started getting sinking feelings in the pit of their stomachs. But they were no where near prepared for what happened next.