Are you keen on helping others succeed, because you feel you should help others first, otherwise you’ll be seen as a selfish person?
Do you always put yourself in the last-thinking it doesn’t matter?
Do you sacrifice little pleasures of life, so others can get them BEFORE you, and you can hear people saying “Oh! He is so co-operative and nice?”
If you answered any of the questions above ‘YES’, you are in deep trouble. You’re missing the key to getting successful. And you MUST do something about it. TODAY!
What is the Key to Success?
Well, Selfishness is the key to success.
Can you think of one common trait among all the successful people you have come across so far?
It’s SELFISHNESS. Yes! It’s so damn important that I would like to repeat it, and this time in bold-It’s SELFISHNESS.
The successful people are the ones who put themselves first, as any wise individual who knows the real meaning of selfishness would.
Being selfish simply means that you are taking care of yourself and your needs first, which in turn helps you to become independent and resourceful and empowers you to serve people around you in better ways.
A selfish person takes good care of his body, mind and soul, so he can share what he has with the world. Because sharing is what makes life worth living.
Why People Condemn Selfishness?
Selfishness is a beautiful phenomenon, but has been condemned so much that we’ve forgotten its real meaning.
Being selfish has been mistaken as being mean time and again, but that’s not true.
A mean person is simply heartless-a person without any concern or regard for others. He simply wants to exploit people and take advantage of them. His philosophy of life is to get everything by hooks or by crooks.
On the other hand a selfish person puts HIMSELF first without exploiting or taking advantage of anyone, and at the same time, also respects others right to be selfish.
People who find it difficult to admit that they are selfish are the ones who lack a healthy self-esteem.
When you’re not sure if being selfish is good, you’ll find it difficult to put yourself first, you’ll feel uneasy.
It’s quite natural in a country like India to feel guilty about being selfish, where people are fond of songs like ‘Apne liye jiye toh kya jiye tu jee aye dil zamane ke liye’.
In this country, sacrificing one’s pleasure for others is not just glorified but considered sacred as well.
Believing in such absurd concepts conditions you to torture yourself, and surprisingly prepares you to take pleasure in the process. I call it being in the ‘martyr’ mode.
Why Become Selfish?
Because it’s simply stupid NOT TO BE.
The first person you need to take care is you. You have to take care of your health, your thoughts, your values, your talents, the words you speak and the actions you take-everything that’s yours.
It’s absolutely natural to be selfish, unless you have been conditioned otherwise. People have been fooled in the name of being nice to others. You can only be nice to others if you are nice to yourself.
You have been taught that things work in this order:
The World-> Country -> Society-> Family-> Self
It’s nothing but bullshit!
Consider this:
Self-> Family-> Society-> Country-> World
I don’t care if it sounds harsh or even mean. Facts remain facts.
Just think-
If you don’t love yourself, how can you love others?
If you are not happy, how can you make others happy?
If you can’t take care of even your own home, how can you take care of your country?
If you are not wealthy, how can you help others become wealthy?
The only way to help poor people is not to be one of them.
Not Being Selfish Leads to Failure
My father always put himself last. He rarely thought about himself and his family. I remember accompanying him on the occasion of one of my aunts’ marriage. I was about 10. I wanted to play with other kids of my age which is natural for kids.
But my father scolded me “Avdhessh, why have you come here in the first place, to give a helping hand or to play?”
The people he wanted me to help are the ones who had been making our life hell. They did everything they could to trouble us. Black magic, gossiping, backstabbing and what not.
I feel bad whenever I remember that incident. It’s not just a question of being selfish but of self-respect too. How can you help someone who is harming you intentionally?
Dangers of Not Being Selfish
You always feel like you owe the world.
People take advantage of you.
You lag behind in studies, career, romance and life in general.
You waste your life thinking that you are serving others, while in reality you are just torturing yourself.
In the end, when you contemplate what have you done with your life, you find yourself empty handed.
Reasons for Not Being Selfish
You’ve been conditioned against it.
You grew watching your parents sacrificing their lives for others.
You feel it’s cool to put yourself last.
You feel like a martyr by sacrificing your life for others.
You want to be like Spiderman. The superhero who wants to save the world, even if it costs him love (He had so much difficulty admitting that he was in love with Mary Jane)
Or
You simply hate yourself on an unconscious level.
Advantages of Selfishness
You can get in touch with your ‘real’ feelings and emotions-you get to know what are you real dreams and aspirations.
You can ‘breathe’ for the first time in your life.
You can learn how to say ‘NO’ to things that don’t matter to you.
You find yourself capable of helping and serving the family, society, country and the world. This time you can do that for REAL and not just in your fantasies.
If you want to become successful, then selfishness is something that you must seriously consider.
Focus on YOUR studies, YOUR career – YOUR life. FIRST!
Discarding selfishness as something bad or evil will do you no good.