On Maturity, Being a Mother, Taking Care of a Baby, and Getting a Puppy Dog

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Question

Would getting a puppy fill my baby void? Every time I tell people I want a baby, they tell me I’m being immature, etc. That’s wrong, but whatever. Admittedly, having a baby would be rough right now because I am actually considering graduating and going to law school. So I was thinking about a baby Yorkie, which will stay small and cute. I’ll love it and buy it everything just like I would do with my baby. But I don’t know if I wanna be responsible for a dog. They tell me, “If you can’t take care of a dog, what makes you think you can handle a baby?” Well, babies are human and dogs aren’t, and babies are cute and funny but dogs aren’t all the time. Anyway, my mom won’t want me to bring a dog in her home because she will probably end up cleaning up after it. Will the dog make me feel better?

Answer

In your case, a dog won’t fix the problem. Neither would a baby, for that matter.

Babies are not always cute. Just ask a parent awakened at 3 a.m. to clean vomit off the sheets and the mattress and the floor and the baby’s clothes, all while said baby is screaming like a banshee because her stomach hurts and she can’t express herself any other way.

Babies are not always funny. Just ask a parent called away from work to the day-care center because the child won’t stop screaming.

Will a dog fill the void? Of course not. But it will provide companionship. And in a very small way, it will give you a taste of the responsibilities of being a parent – if, in fact, you take care of that dog. Babies require far more attention than dogs, and the margin for error with a baby is much narrower.

Your question suggests that you view the baby as some sort of accessory, like a bracelet you can use to impress people or a scarf you wear only when it gets cold. You dismiss the warning, “If you can’t take care of a dog, what makes you think you can handle a baby?” far too glibly. No, a dog is not the same as a baby. But the definition of “responsibility” never changes, whether you are responsible for the well-being of another human being totally unable to care for herself, or whether you are responsible for nothing more than doing your homework on time.

Employers tend to promote workers to positions of authority only after they have demonstrated they can handle the responsibility in a less-important position. Seriously, if you can’t take care of a dog, any baby you have is in big trouble. If you aren’t even willing to clean up after a dog, but would instead delegate the responsibility upward to your mother, I cringe at the thought of how much work your mother would end up taking on if you had a child.

Speaking of employers, do you have a job? How are you going to support either a dog or a child? Both require food, shelter and regular medical care. And children require additional things like clothing and educational supplies. Instead of thinking about your void, think ahead about what can make you a better mother. Finish school; get your own place; take enough time to establish a good relationship with a mature, financially stable, committed man and get married. Then you will be ready for both the baby and the puppy.

But right now every word you write illustrates how unprepared you are for a baby.

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