“Fair is foul and foul is fair,” chant the witches in Act 1 of Shakespeare’s Macbeth. Never did a former English major such as me expect to recall that line at 10:30 pm on a chilly Saturday evening that I hoped would be better remembered for fun, deep-fried cheesecake on a stick, and the sheer excitement of seeing boy band Big Time Rush in concert.
Let’s backtrack. I took my two kids and my daughter’s friend to the Arizona State Fair for a day of overpriced fun and sensory overload. My kids had known for a month that their fave Nickelodeon stars were performing, and they had begged and pleaded since last month to go. Why not, I thought. In fact, due to BTR being one of two CDs my kids listen to ad nauseam, I’ve memorized 96% of the songs these nouveau Monkees sing. How cool would Mom be rocking out and actually knowing all the lyrics? Plus, I have a slight crush on Logan.
Reaching the nexus of fun at 19th Avenue and McDowell Road, we encountered a surprise: a free parking spot! Realizing I’d spend at least one month’s worth of orthodontia payments on Tilt-A-Wheel rides, candy apples, and generic light sabers with a lifespan of two days, the thought of saving $15 was enticing. Checking the parking signs (never too early to teach your kids that trick) and whether we were blocking any driveways or fire hydrants, and, finding that it was all good, we took our good luck and headed into the fairgrounds.
Fast forward six hours when the four of us, ears still ringing from concert and feet aching from walking the fair end to end, we trudged towards my car… and trudged… and trudged some more. Was I so tired I couldn’t find my car, or was the neighborhood so dark – despite Hudson lighting the way with the blue glow of his light saber – we just couldn’t see it? Thirty minutes later, all hope was gone, as was any juice on my cell phone. One tired mom and three scared kids headed back to the fair to ask the police officers parked at the entrance if there had been any reports of stolen vehicles. No, they replied, but there had been a rash of towed cars.
Doh! Fast forward to me and three kids getting out of the back seat of a patrol car and being escorted into an impound lot. Lots of joking (by me) and impound fees (me again) later, we were on our way back home. Normalcy had been restored, Big Time Rush was blasting, and the kids were talking about all the fun they had. And I was thinking, you know what was really cool? Not that I had sang along with James, Carlos, Logan and Kendall as if I were the missing fifth member of the group. Not that I had allowed dinner to be cotton candy and snow cones. What was awesome, if I do have to say, was that I managed to keep my wits, calm down three scared kids, and get home by midnight. By acting in an adult manner befitting an adult, I was able to make State Fair approved frozen lemonade out of the lemons life handed us.