“It’s me, Ha.”
“Me, who?”
“Alexandr.
“I knew that. Where have you been?”
“On vacation,” Alex said. “We’ve been in Vietnam and Maui for a while.”
“For six weeks. We?”
“I had to get away.”
“Get away? From what?”
Alex said, “You.”
“Always did love how you say exactly what you mean. And who is we?“
“I’m getting married, Ha,” Alex said.
“You? You can’t be married. That’s like a snake curling up with rabbits.”
“It’s not funny…”
“Oh. You love her.”
“Hmm.”
“You can’t even tell me how you feel!” Ha said. “I wish her luck.”
“It’s none of your business.”
“Poor Alex. He’s a stone-cold mercenary, but a few weeks of romance with a woman who isn’t fazed by his sociopathology, and he turns into a pouty twelve-year-old. When and where is the wedding?”
“That will be a small affair.”
“I’m not invited? What a shocker.”
“You would need your entourage. Too many people in one place.”
“Don’t kid me,” Ha said. “You wouldn’t want me there even if I walked in alone.”
Alex didn’t respond.
“I have one last job before the honeymoon, Alexandr. The others are busy this week. When are you and–what’s her name?”
“Olivia.”
“Olivia,” Ha said, tasting the word.
“I can’t do your job,” Alex said. “In two days we will fly to her uncle, a religious man. He’ll marry us.”
“That’s perfect, because I need this Moscow thing done tonight. Where ever you might be–a pilot’s waiting to pick you up. Leave Olivia, throw a few spasibo to your beloved countrymen, and be back in her arms by lunch tomorrow.”
Alex sighed.
“You’ll do it? Sure you will. The money’s in your account already. In the meantime, Alex,” Ha said, “I can only offer you my congratulations.”
“What?”
“I’m lifting a glass to you right now. Visualize that, in your mind. A toast to the best I’ve ever seen… and to his sweet, sweet bride. May she bring you eternal happiness.”
“Be seeing you, Ha.”