My Panther hopes have taken a beating by injuries and disappointing players. Like mood swinging drugs from Nurse Ratched’s I.V., one dripping cold-hard-ugly-fact at a time is slowly numbing my psyche. It’s like a Chinese water torture and the season hasn’t even started. However, as luck would have it, I have found secret information to restore everyone’s hope. Did you know that 2011 is the Catawba Indian “Year of the Panther”? And also, now get this, early 2012 is the Cherokee Indian “Season of the Super Panther”. OH YEA BABY! Hot Diggity Dog! No kidding, honest it’s true. It’s….. (OK OK. Alright already. I just made that part up, so sue me.) Still it’s no reason not to jump on the Panther Victory Bandwagon. True or not, go with it. It’s fun to have hope (even if it is sliced a bit razor thin).
Fact is, this is going to be one truly great Panther team. Trust me on this, before this year is out fans from 13 states a 1 district will be talking about the Carolina Panthers. I have ways of knowing stuff, but I am not supposed to say anything. Let’s just say that there’s a certain wine lover named Mr. Purr, (I know, strange isn’t it) in a certain town who’s actually a reincarnated half-brother of Nostradamus. (Are you beginning to see how that whole genetics thing and science are colliding here?) Kinda scary, huh? Well anyway, any time after dark, if I drive to a certain spot and roll down my window to shout “WORD” (all-the-while holding a Dixie cup of cheap wine out the window)…..shhhhh……tut, tut, tut…..I’ve already said way too much. Let’s just say that secret information on the Panthers can be had, and just leave it at that. Mr. Purr is a religious man as well. Every time we meet he quotes the same Bible verse to me … “Cast not thine cheap wine in a Dixie cup before swine” (Book of Eucalyptus, verse 5…I believe).
I shouldn’t do this, but I’ll tell you Mr. Purr’s answer to my last question. I don’t understand it but maybe you will. By the way, his answers are always hard to understand quatrains. ( like his half-brother Nostradamus used so well)
My question was – What will happen in the Panthers first real game?
His answer was:
“The scarlet bird uses wings to soar. It attacks by air.”
“The great cat will at first be stunned and helpless. Then will pounce with slashing claws as the bird flies too low.”
“Feathers and fur fly all about the green carpeted home of the fabled bird.”
“The great cat will purr with contentment. Phoenix returns to ashes once again.”
Let’s go get’em boys. Time to Bare-Teeth and Unsheathe-Claws.