The first seven years of raising children, I was a working mother. The past 3 years I have been a Stay at home Parent or Homemaker, if you will. I found joy and benefits while working that I cannot experience while being at home. On the other hand, I enjoy moments with my children that most parents can only dream of these days. It certainly is not normal in today’s society for middle class families to only have one income. Especially a family of 8, but we are very fortunate.
I was fully aware of the debate between working mothers and stay at home parents as I became a parent. I had grown up with a single mother who worked two jobs most of the time to support her two children. While it seemed like we never had any time with her, we always had new and clean clothes and shoes. We always had video games, food, and a roof over our heads. I’m the older sister so when Mom had to work, all the house duties were left to me.
Heading into being a parent I had the idea that being a working mother was my only option. So I was determined if this was the case, I would do it differently so my children would not be stuck with all the house duties. I realized through those years that being a single working mother could be done without sacrificing their childhood. It was hard, 40-45 hours each week not getting home until after midnight and up at sunrise with the girls every day. They had nap time and I had cleaning time. My house was clean (maybe a bit messy), kids were happy, healthy, fed, clothed, and housed. I was really proud of myself and all the other Single working Mothers out there.
When my fiancé and I started dating in 2008, we talked about how it would be more cost efficient for us if I were to stay at home. We already had a blended family of 7 from the start. After becoming pregnant with our son and moving in together, the deal was sealed. I quit my job and proceeded to take over the house. Before Brayden, our youngest, came along I could put the kids to bed at 8 pm and be fairly rest assured they would not get up until morning; which made getting things done around the house at night simple. Brayden has proved to make those things a bit more difficult though.
Now, I wouldn’t trade being at home with my children for anything in the world. We are not rich by any means in fact, we struggle week to week staying afloat. Having more money would not make things easier though because of all the extra cost associated with having an actual job. My children are doing better in school and they seem genuinely happy since I have become a stay at home parent.
In the never ending battle of Working Mother versus Stay at home Mother, there is a clear winner in our household. Staying at home is the best option for our family. While I was figuring out what was best for our family, I realized that this is a battle that will never be won. Deciding on whether to stay home or to work is a very personal decision and each situation is unique. In light of this, there will never be one correct answer to the question, which is better, Stay at home or Working Mother?