If you’re in a relationship that you think might be heading toward a wedding, it’s never too early to start preparing. I’m not talking about looking at dresses, rings, and honeymoon locations (although those things are fun!). Rather, I’m talking about preparing for the life-long commitment you might one day make. Consider the following three pieces of advice to build a solid foundation and set your dating relationship on the path toward a happy, healthy marriage.
Establish and maintain your own interests.
New couples tend to spend all of their free time together. While healthy doses of quality time are certainly necessary for a couple, getting to the point where you feel like you need to be together in order to be complete or happy is too much pressure for a relationship to take. On the other hand, if you’re occasionally spending time with your own friends, engaging in hobbies, and pursuing personal interests, you will be developing all the different facets of yourself that you can then share with your partner. Maintaining a life outside your relationship while dating will lead to a more fulfilling marriage – one that can withstand periods of separation (such as business trips or a getaway with friends) and will feel more fresh and balanced.
Share your stuff.
Marriage truly is the act of combining two lives into one. My husband and I share a house, vehicles, pets, and all the “stuff” and responsibilities that come along with them. It is an incredibly rewarding thing to share my life to such an intimate degree with another person, but I admit it was hard to get used to after we tied the knot. While in my opinion the true combination of two lives into one (that is, sharing finances, a household, and a bed) really should wait until after marriage, you can start practicing a reasonable “what’s mine is yours” mentality now by agreeing to let him borrow your iPod or golf clubs, allowing him to snatch food off your plate without a fuss, or alternating “laundry weeks” with one another and trusting him to wash your favorite jeans. Easing into a life of sharing now will help marital interdependence not to come as such a shock to the system.
Discuss and plan finances.
The idea of getting married and combining two salaries probably sounds appealing, but there are two sides to every coin. When couples get married, not only does each bring a financial income – each also brings financial debt, financial needs, and financial habits. Before marriage, get a good handle on what sort of debt you will need to join forces to pay off, and start planning now. Go over weekly budgets together. Learn to come up with creative, inexpensive dates so that you help each other save money. Discuss the kind of lifestyle you’d like to lead and the kind of sacrifices it might take to get there. Being on the same page about finances is crucial for a marriage, so starting these practices now will certainly “pay off” later!
More wisdom from this contributor:
Five Things Couples Should Experience Before Getting Engaged
Seven Signs He’s Marriage Material
Proposal Faux Pas: Five Behaviors a Woman Should Avoid While Getting Engaged