Do you have a “work spouse?” If yes, it is wise to set some boundaries between you and your work spouse. Boundaries, like guardrails or caution tape around toxic waste, exist to keep good things in their proper place and to keep you from straying into dangerous situations that could jeopardize your marriage.
What is a work spouse?
If you haven’t heard the term “work spouse,” it refers to someone of the opposite sex at work, with whom you develop a close platonic relationship with. It often starts because of your close proximity to the co-worker day after day on the job. You become comfortable with them and you start to bounce ideas off them about work, share your personal problems, get emotional support from, joke with, and spend most of your time with at work. They supply your needs while on the job.
Eventually, you may become emotionally attached and that is when the danger comes into play, if you cross the thin line between just friendship to a more intimate relationship or even adultery. This is why you need to ask yourself if having a work spouse is worth the risk of possibly crossing that line and ruining your marriage. If you’re willing to take the chance, then the following boundaries should be set up to decrease the probability of you crossing the line with your work spouse.
What boundaries should you set up with your work spouse to avoid jeopardizing your marriage?
Boundary #1-Be honest and straightforward with your work spouse about the bond and commitment you have to your real-life spouse. You should never let them wonder or make assumptions as to your level of commitment to your marriage partner.
Boundary #2- Do not constantly talk about your work spouse to your real-life spouse. This is not only inconsiderate, but it could cause your spouse to feel insecure.
Boundary #3- You should never go out drinking with your work spouse. Drinking can and often blurs boundaries and makes it easier to cross them.
Boundary #4- It is wise to always introduce your spouse to your work spouse, so your relationship won’t be exclusive.
Boundary #5- Don’t bring the drama from your home life in to share with your work spouse. Keep your mood light and happy at work and professional when talking with your work spouse.
Boundary #6- Do not share the personal and intimate details of your married life with your work spouse. Doing this is unfair to your spouse at home and could be considered a deal-breaker should they find out.
Boundary #7- Make it a point to never be alone with your work spouse outside of the job. Romantic relationships can easily be formed out of recreational activities and intimate conversations.
Boundary #8 – Never do anything with your work spouse that will cause speculation or rumors around the workplace! This could cost you your job.
Boundary #9 – Never create a work spouse relationship that is exclusive and kept a secret from your real life spouse. He or she WILL hear about it and this could put your marriage in jeopardy.
Boundary #10 – If you find you are having romantic or emotional feelings for your work spouse, it is time to DIVORCE your work spouse. Don’t procrastinate, get over it, and dump your work spouse!
Marriage is a bond that should not be broken because of a work spouse relationship. Setting boundaries for your work spouse relationship is the best way to ‘guard’ your heart from making a mistake you may regret. Always ask yourself, “Is having a work spouse relationship worth risking my marriage for?”
References:
http://www.cnn.com/2008/LIVING/worklife/11/10/cb.seven.signs.work.spouse/index.html
The Boundary is a Blessing
http://www.foxbusiness.com/personal-finance/2011/04/25/time-divorce-work-spouse/