I never bought burial insurance because I know my ex’s would not take the money and bury me. No way they would spend the money on the casket, embalming, a headstone, funeral transportation, a plot, visitation, and much more.
To be honest, they would not need to pay for embalming, because I have drunk enough bourbon to embalm myself.
But forget burial. My ex’s would keep the money, buy a new car, go to casinos and take a cruise or two. Come on, the average funeral costs $10,000. That is a lot of pulls on a slot machine in Vegas. Instead of burying me, they might:
· Hope for me to die at sea and be buried at sea. · Donate my body to science · Have me cremated and put in a Ziploc bag. · Have me cremated and put in a Tupperware container · Spill my ashes on the floor and have the pleasure of vacuuming them up, then tossing them in the trash · Mix my ashes in with the fireplace ashes, then start a fire to make sure I was really dead. · Pray every day that I would get killed in a plane crash · Have my ashes buried in a pet cemetery, much cheaper, · Take my ashes and put them in ash trays all over town. · Donate my ashes to the church to be used on Ash Wednesday. · See how long it would take my ashes to flush down the toilet. · Use them for fertilizer and see if any poison ivy sprung up. · See if the garbage disposal really worked on ashes.
The lesson of all of this is why buy burial insurance? You’re dead and no right thinking person would use the money to bury you. There is just too much good whiskey you can buy with that money.