The idea of having a natural childbirth scared me. Besides, all my of friends who are new mommies sang the praises of epidural (an anesthesia that helps numb the pain during labor.) I’m the kind of person who screams when I get a paper cut, so I was pretty sure that I would be asking for an epidural upon my arrival to the hospital. But after a little bit of preparation and a lot of prayer, I made the choice to have a natural childbirth.
I’ll never forget the mixture of joy and anxiety that made my heart race as I held a positive home pregnancy test. The tears flowed. I was instantly in awe of the little life growing inside of me. My husband put his arms around me and smiled. This was a new beginning for both of us. Our first baby.
I was clueless. In high school and college, I worked as a freelance graphic artist instead of babysitting. I had zero experience with infants-zero with a capital “Z.” I had only changed one diaper (with the help of the child’s mother.) I had never given a baby a bottle. In my twenties, I went around telling anyone who’d listen that I would never get married or have children. But when I met my husband, I experienced a metamorphosis. I felt a sudden desire for a ring and offspring in a way that frightened and surprised me.
I slept through most of the first trimester. My waking hours were spent working or making constant trips to the bathroom. I dreamt that I was having a boy (which was confirmed by an ultrasound five months into the pregnancy.) The Internet became a source of comfort and fear. I found some great suggestions for nausea relief… hello lemons and ginger! But if I felt the slightest headache, I went on every medical web site to see if my child was in danger. I spent so much time researching symptoms that I didn’t think about the kind of “birthing experience” I wanted.
Everything changed when I saw Ricki Lake’s documentary, “The Business Of Being Born.” I was shocked to discover that a pregnant woman is treated like she has a life-threatening disease in many hospitals. If she doesn’t go into labor “fast enough”, she’s given pitocin (a drug that helps induce labor but can cause more intense contractions.) If it hurts too bad, she’s given an epidural (which can slow down labor in some cases.) If all else fails, the doctor will perform caesarean section (a procedure where the baby is removed through a surgical incision through the mother’s abdomen.)
Women have been having babies naturally for thousands of years. I was confident that it would be the healthiest thing for me and the baby, but I was afraid that I wouldn’t be able to stand the pain. As my belly grew, random women at the supermarket would tell me their pregnancy horror stories. “My contractions felt like I was being stabbed with a knife.” “I was in labor for 37 hours and 16 minutes.”
My inspiration to have a natural childbirth was renewed when I took a tour of the Alternative Birthing Care Unit at Providence Hospital in Southfield, MI. I was happy to see hot tubs for pain management. I was also happy to hear that I could eat and drink while I was in labor. Pregnant women were encouraged get up and move not just lay in the bed attached to a fetal monitor. With their team of experienced midwives and nurses, I knew it would be the ideal place to welcome my little one into the world. They made it clear that only women with low-risk pregnancies could give birth there (no gestational diabetes, preeclampsia, etc.) I was grateful that my pregnancy had been healthy and uneventful.
My husband and I spent last Valentine’s Day watching movies on Netflix. At 4:30am, I went into labor. He pushed the speed limit on our way to the hospital. My natural childbirth was a beautiful experience because he was with me every step of the way. He rubbed my back while I sat in the hot tub, breathing through contractions. I got out of the water and sat on a birthing stool for the final stretch. When it was time to push, I made my way to the bed and delivered our son while laying on my side. He was born at the speed of light, I was only in labor for four hours (half of that time I spent at home.) My mother and my doula didn’t even make in time.
People always ask me how much it hurt. I can honestly say that it wasn’t that bad. For me, the contractions were like intense menstrual cramps. When the baby was crowning, my vocabulary got a little R-rated, but it only lasted for a few minutes. The rest of it was fine. My advice to a pregnant woman would be to take it one moment at a time. You might be surprised what your body can do naturally. When I was expecting, I read somewhere that you forget about the pain of labor when you see your baby. I remember thinking, “no way!” But I was surprised that it was true for me. Our baby boy was 6 pounds, 13 ounces and a miracle from head to toe. I got to hold him in my arms right away. When he looked at me with his bright eyes, I was overwhelmed by the love I felt for him.