Question: My child hated public school, so now we are homeschooling. However, she is still not motivated to do her work, and we end up in a power struggle, until I start threatening to return them to school. How can I keep my daughter focused on homeschooling without making these threats that I know I won’t even keep.
Answer: My first advise is to not make threats that you know you won’t keep. If you have no intention to return her to public school, stop saying it because sooner or later, you will have to call her bluff or lose credibility.
Secondly, I prefer promises to threats. For example I might say, If you get all of your work for the week completed by Friday at noon, we will go to the movies.” For kids who need smaller goals, you can say “get x,y,and z done by Wednesday at 11, and we will have a restaurant meal.” The things that you offer for rewards does not always have to cost money, these are just things that worked for me. Other rewards have includes, a trip to the library, a playdate with another homeschoolers, or a TV afternoon if work is completed by a certain time. Most importantly, never, ever, give the reward, or even second chances if they don’t earn it. You don’t want them to think they can get over on you.
Finally, make sure homeschooling is enjoyable. A common mistake many new homeschoolers make is trying duplicating the classroom experience at home. If they hated school, bringing it home is going to make them just as memorable. Use a curriculum that is more relaxed and laid back than school was. Swap out desks for blankets and pillows. Substitute weekly quizzes for for mock game shows.
By keeping homeschooling more lighthearted than traditional schools, setting up a rewards system, and keeping threats of returning to public school out of the conversation, I believe your child’s attitude will change and they will show better motivation in homeschooling.