How much influence do husbands and mothers have on pregnant women

How much influence do husbands and mothers have on pregnant women?

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In a recent study results supported the hypothesis that mother-daughter and husband-wife attachment were correlated positively.

Related Questions Answered on Y!Answers

Why is the media not talking about Obama’s momma?

Q: One of the interesting things about Barack Obama is that he is appealing to the black voters of America as a black man, yet he was raised by a single mother and her parents, who were white. (Before you correct me that the politically correct term is “African-American,” allow me to point out that all black people in America are not necessarily African-American.)In a well-researched article published in Time, Amanda Ripley explains, “In most elections, the deceased mother of a candidate in the primaries is not the subject of a magazine profile. But Ann Soetoro was not like most mothers.” She points out: “Each of us lives a life of contradictory truths. We are not one thing or another. Barack Obama’s mother was at least a dozen things. S. Ann Soetoro was a teen mother who later got a Ph.D. in anthropology; a white woman from the Midwest who was more comfortable in Indonesia; a natural-born mother obsessed with her work; a romantic pragmatist, if such a thing is possible.” Barack Obama’s mother was a very interesting woman, and, according to Ripley, he’s very much his mother’s son.Obama’s mother, Stanley Ann Dunham Obama Soetoro (she later spelled it Sutoro) was a white woman from the Midwest who married and divorced not one, but two, foreign men (one from Kenya and one from Indonesia, both Muslim). She met Barack Obama Sr. in a Russian-language class at the University of Hawaii, where both were students. After one semester, at age 18 she dropped out of school and, three months pregnant, secretly married a man she met only a few months earlier. Young Barack was born August 4, 1961. At that time, interracial marriages were illegal in many states, and bi-racial children were ostracized by both ethnic groups as not “belonging” to either. When the infant Barack was not yet a year old, Obama Sr. left his new family for a Harvard scholarship to get a Ph.D. in economics. His plan was to take his new family and return to rebuild Kenya. He already had a wife there, although there was some question about the legality of the earlier marriage. Obama’s mother decided she did not wish to go with him, and returned to her studies at the University of Hawaii. She graduated in four years while her parents helped care for her young son. In 1964, Ann filed for divorce from Obama Sr. Like many Muslim men, Obama Sr. had multiple wives. It has been reported that Barack Jr. was distressed to learn that his six siblings, whom he met on a trip to Africa, had four different mothers. (Islam permits up to four wives at one time, and apparently polygamy is common in Africa.)At the University of Hawaii, Ann met another international student, Lolo Soetoro, who proposed in 1967. Ann and young Barack followed him home to Indonesia. Daughter Maya was born in 1970. In 1971, when Barack was 10, Ann sent him back to Hawaii to live with her parents and attend an elite prep school on a scholarship arranged by Ann’s mother, an executive at Bank of Hawaii. Obama lived with Ann’s parents until he finished high school. Ann and Maya followed a year later. Ann once again enrolled in classes at the University of Hawaii. Although Lolo visited often, they never again lived together, and in 1980, Ann filed for divorce.According to Ripley, Ann maintained a cordial relationship with her ex-husbands, staying in touch with both men. It is probably safe to say, however, that Barack Obama had very little actual influence from either man in his life. His father left before he was a year old, and he lived with his mother and her second husband in Indonesia for only four years, from age 6 to 10, before being shipped back to Hawaii for prep school. This makes it even more remarkable that he has written a memoir titled, “Dreams From my Father.” It has been reported that Ann read a draft of her son’s book before her death in 1995. One has to wonder how disappointed she must have been to learn it was about a father who abandoned him as an infant, and not about the strong and pioneering women who raised him. The book was first published in 1995, as he was campaigning for the Illinois Senate, and to capitalize on his new popularity, a new edition was published in 2004, after his keynote address to the Democratic National Convention.Ann Dunham Obama Sutoro studied anthropology in Indonesia, and helped thousands of poor women find better lives for themselves and their families. She is credited with helping to create the microfinance program in Indonesia, “which she did from 1988 to ’92 —- before the practice of granting tiny loans to credit-poor entrepreneurs was an established success story. Her anthropological research into how real people worked helped inform the policies set by the Bank Rakyat Indonesia, says [her friend] Patten, an economist who worked there. ‘I would say her work had a lot to do with the success of the program,’ he sa

A: His mother was a white woman who was left by her black husband. She remarried to an asian man who took care of her and her son. The media doesn’t want to talk about that.

Not sure about having second child?

Q: At this point in my life I am pretty sure that I do not want a second child, or at least I do not want to give birth to one. If I do decide I want another one later on down the line, I would rather adopt. However, my husband thinks we should at least have one more birth child before considering adoption. Our only daughter is already six years old. I unintentionally got pregnant at 19 years old, had her after I had just turned 20. Yeah, I know, I should have been on birth control, but now I am(obviously). I thought I had always wanted three to four kids when I grew up but now I am already 26 and it looks like at this point it’s just not gonna happen. I don’t want to go into detail for fear of being judged(I know how people get on here), but my marriage has not been an easy one, stemming from a number of problems, most of them being financial. We are in alot of debt right now, and having another baby would put us into more debt. My husband needs a job, and with our daughter being in school this makes that much more easier for him to achieve. If we had another baby we would have to worry about paying for daycare which in that case would be the entire paycheck my husband would bring home so there would be no point. Not to mention I am discovering new things about myself and finally starting to go out and have a social life for the first time since being a mother. I want to start focusing on writing and modeling, and I won’t have time for writing with another baby and modeling opportunities are scarce for pregnant women. However, IF I do decide for whatever reason that I want another child, it won’t be for a couple years at least and I am wondering if that is too far apart in age for siblings(not that that fact alone should influence my decision, but it is still good to know). Should I just give up on the idea now that my daughter is already six? I know my husband really just wants to have a son, but we need to be realistic about this. It’s just that it never seems like a “good time” to have another kid, so I feel like giving up.The maternal part of me would like to hold and care for another baby, but the reality of it is, more money, middle of the night feedings and ten diaper changes a day all over again. I just don’t think I can mentally or financially handle that right now. Kind of the same reason I don’t want a dog(or any more other pets for that matter) right now. It just means more money, more responsibility, more commitment(ok, I know having a dog and having a baby are COMPLETELY different, but similar in terms of these factors) that I don’t have. We have two cats and a bird, and I am barely keeping up with taking care of them, plus my daughter.I also want to be able to give my daughter all the opportunities I can afford, the ones my parents couldn’t give me because I had two other siblings they had to split thier income between, and since I was the “problem child,” they pretty much just gave up on me and concentrated more on my sibs…my family now barely talks to me…no surprise…Ok, I know this is long, I’m sorry, I just have a lot of thoughts running through my head right now….the question is, is 9-10 years too far apart to have kids? Should I just give up on the idea at this point? Thanks.OK, so my first answer is from a complete A-hole…I knew I shouldn’t have come here to ask this type of question….seriously, why are you even on here just to tell me to STFU?! You STFU….Get a life, or better yet, do the world a favor and run into a knife or something, douchbag…Kristen, thanks! My husband knows he needs to put his butt into gear, believe me! We’re working on it!I know adoption is expensive, so realistically, that wouldn’t happen either until I am very, VERY comfertable and have the time to spend with that child.With the exception of that one jerk I had to report, you all have very good answers! I will have a hard time picking a winner….Emoja, yes, he would be okay with another girl too, basically, we said when we are ready, we wouldn’t try more than 2 times for a boy, and if we ended up with 3 girls then oh well….I guess I am just afraid of people questioning me. I that sounds silly, but it’s true. My co-worker had two kids nine years apafrom her ex( the second one wasn’t intentional). One time she told someone that her kids were 9 years apart and the lady assumed the kids had different dads. I just don’t like the idea of getting those ” oh, why did you wait so long?” looks and questions from nosy strangers…I know, it’s stupid….Oops! I meant to say *apart*

A: If you are not ready to have another baby now, then definitely do not. You gave up a lot when you had your baby at 20 years old, and now that you have a bit of freedom to discover yourself you should explore that and enjoy the time you have. You’re only 26 – you have PLENTY of time to have another baby! Why rush, ya know?! Go out, enjoy life, find more out about yourself. I know plenty of people who are in their mid-thirties and having babies, so don’t let the age factor scare you. If financially it doesn’t make sense to have a baby now then that’s even more of a reason to wait longer. My husband is 30 and his younger brother is 20, his older brother is 35. They all love each other very much and enjoy spending time together, regardless of the age difference. Truth be told, I don’t ever see them go out of their way to do stuff together, mostly because the 35 year old has a family now, works full-time and lives out of state. My husband and I also work full time and have a baby on the way. The youngest has only been out of high school for a couple of years, and obviously is not as mature. So although they don’t relate much in the things they do they love each other very much. So I definitely think that having your children 10 years apart is definitely ok! Good luck in whatever you choose to do, but the decision is yours and if you don’t feel ready then wait. A child is forever, why rush it.

Do I have reason to be concerned about my MIL’s controlling behavior?

Q: We are expecting our first child and found out when I was a little over 5 weeks along. I am now 13 weeks and my MIL is already making comments like, “I know _____ is not going to let me keep the baby overnight.” I cannot understand why she is even addressing this issue at this point. I don’t know how I will feel about that. I don’t see a problem with the baby spending the night at it’s grandparents house (my mom or his parents) after it’s gotten older, but right after it’s born or within a couple of months? I’m not sure at what point she’s expecting to be able to babysit overnight. I haven’t even given it much thought. I’m still adjusting to the idea of being pregnant!Here’s the problem – although she is a very nice person with a huge heart she is very controlling. She has a lot of involvement and influence in her 10 year old grandaughter’s life. The child lives with her mother but spends a lot of time with my inlaws. They are older and tend to spoil her quite a bit, especially my MIL. The bottomline is she thinks she’s a princess who shouldn’t have to adhere to any rules outside of her rules and her mother’s rules. However, the child does the direct opposite most of the time and doesn’t have any real structure in her life.She has serious behavioral issues ranging from talking back to adults, involving herself in adult conversations, running, hopping and sprinting around the house, sleeping in the bed with my inlaws 95% of the time when she spends the night. Often times my MIL will rock her to sleep and she’s as tall as I am (about 5 ft. 2 in.). She also has a habit of crawling into the laps of others and curling up into fetal position. She is extremely disrespectful and carries on as if she’s one of the adults. There seems to be no separation between child and adult in her mind, and nobody makes the distinction for her. It had gotten to the point to where I’d avoid being around her.Her father spent a short time in jail and has been in and out of her life. He is 38 and lives with a 21 year old woman whom he just had a child with. My MIL is way too involved in that situation and plays between the child’s mother, the child’s father and his girlfriend. When she expresses her opinion on the matter she does it right in front of the child, and has told her she does not have to obey her father’s girlfriend or listen to what she says because she is only 11 years older than she is. As a matter of fact, this just happened yesterday and I was shocked to actually hear it come from her mouth. I don’t agree with how the child’s father and his girlfriend treat this child. Sometimes they will tell her they’re going to pick her up or do something and they don’t follow through. He’ll tell her he’s going to buy her something and he doesn’t do it. However, that still does not give the child a free ticket to disrespect adults nor does it give my MIL a free ticket to bash on her parents (which she frequently does) or her father’s girlfriend. When I saw her in action, yet again yesterday, I just shook my head and thought to myself, “This will not happen with my child.”My husband also agrees that his mom needs to butt out and mind her own business when it comes to his niece, but we all know that’s not going to happen. Both of her parents are too tied up in their own lives. Nobody really spends any quality time with her except my inlaws, but again, they’re older and just let her run wild. They don’t seem to have the patience to really make her behave, and I’m afraid they will allow my child to act like a monster once he/she is up in age. Also, the fact that my MIL is so concerned (and she really is) that I will not allow my child to stay over night is crazy to me! Why wouldn’t I allow it? But not at an early infant stage.Am I wrong or missing something here?Before you say, “This sounds like a typical 10 year old to me”, I have never seen a child in her age range act this way. I have friends who have 4 and 5 year olds who know not to bounce off furniture and dive through the house like they’re in an open field. At times, this child will just spin herself around and around and roll her eyes in the back of her head and then just fall out on the sofa or wherever she is. I don’t think she has ADD or anything. I think she’s just used to do whatever. In my opinion, she’s way too big to be acting like that!Also, she bashes on the child’s mother all the time. From what I understand, the mother knows this and still allows her child to spend the night regularly. My MIL does not bite her tongue and uses no discretion when voicing her opinion about either of her parents. I have heard her say things like, “See, they don’t have time for you. They never have time for you. They can run here and there but they can never make time for you.” I am sure this is part of the child’s problem. She doesn’t feel love and is trying hard to find it. I’ve tried to spend time with her when we’re all together, and would like to spend time with her one on one. But she is pretty set in her ways. She is very stubborn and doesn’t like to listen, and I will probably blow a fuse in the blink of an eye.DYOT – Also, if you have kids and allow your kids to run through your house and talk back … good for you. Some rebellion is expected, but a child at that age should not be allowed to tell grown ups to “STOP!” or “I SAID STOP NOW!”Miss Coffee – Thanks for your post. However, you had a choice … to read the post … or rant as you refer to it … or not. DYOT – Sounds like you need to STFU. I am entitled to my opinion just as you are yours. If you feel it’s normal for a 10 year old kid to act this way, great, but most people I know do not allow their kids to carry on like this … back talking and acting unruly.

A: Before getting too worked up over how your MIL might treat your baby, remember that your child is going to be different from his/her cousin. While it sounds like the 10 year old has some issues, they may not have been caused by your MIL, and she might treat a different grandchild very differently. Your concern is legitimate, but I would just take things a day at a time. You don’t know how any of you will feel once the baby arrives. A good way not to allow anyone to take your baby overnight is to breast feed. And when your MIL visits, set ground rules (tactfully) right from the start. Insist that the baby stick to his/her schedule. YOU decide what the baby is fed at what ages, where and when s/he will sleep, what toys s/he can have, etc. If she asks to do something with your child that makes you uneasy, just politely tell her you don’t allow your child to do that. If you take charge from the beginning, she probably won’t challenge your authority.