The Temptation of Cheating on Your Spouse

by on December 3rd, 2010
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The siren song is a seductive invitation for temptation, is it not? A deceptive illusion that appeals to your core beliefs is being tested, tweaked and manipulated. You may be the engineer but not the inventor. Temptations are enticement tests and it’s a pass or fail grade. I’ve flat out bombed numerous tests and I have excuses for most, but for some, there are just no words. Sometimes the temptations that we despise and others have befallen are the very things we become. I still have a long way to go in my sinful feminine existence and more temptations to fight off or just accept. For some people, extraordinary and unforeseen events can be the trigger-pull for a taboo temptation. For others, a broken promise can catapult them into a spiraling vortex of self-loathing.

I begin with the allure of cheating on your spouse. Right before you tie the eternity knot, you swear to God you will be faithful to each other. You both take a solemn vow before God in front of all mankind that you will not break Commandment 7. You honestly believe with all your heart and soul that you would never ever do that. But, if you’re never challenged by the seduction of this sinful temptation, then how can you honestly say you’re not a cheater. Even if your spouse never finds out, the devastating consequences of adultery will eventually ripple effect into every facet of your life. OK, so you’re not hanging out at bars or going to strip clubs purposely looking for it, but what if it starts so innocently while you’re at work? For this scenario I will be using fictitious names Brad and Laura as the adulterers to make things simple.

At first glance, Brad finds Laura sort of attractive though not totally his type, but there’s something about her that draws him in. He sees her in the break room often and they pass each other in the hall making quick eye contact and half bent smiles. Before long Brad begins making small unimportant conversation with her, complaining about the job and the dismal underpaying career choices they’ve made. She laughs louder and smiles bigger than ever before and now they’ve become allies, a bond has been formed and she’s more attractive to him now. The verbiage begins to get personal about their spouses and family life at home. Unbeknownst to Brad and Laura, an invisible signal is sent back and forth and now they’ve become emotionally invested. It doesn’t take long for their thoughts of needing each other to cope are justified; the enticement has meaning now and they have passed the pre-test.

Brad and Laura didn’t foresee that sharing subconsciously the intricacies of their family’s private business is a set up. Now they wait for the puppet master to begin the grand finale of their test. They start going to lunch together every day making it more and more comfortable to be alone with each other. Both of them agree that it wouldn’t be a good idea to tell their spouses about the private lunches, knowing they wouldn’t understand their friendship. Laura starts looking forward to going to work, not complaining about the job anymore, she doesn’t call in sick as frequently and attributes this to “Someone finally understands me and my job.” Extra make-up, more perfume and lower cleavage have become a daily routine for her wardrobe. Her husband is asking questions, he notices her sexier appearance and emotional distance at home.

It’s lunch time again and it’s raining heavily, she doesn’t want to leave the car, neither one of them are hungry for food. The physical and emotional tension between Brad and Laura is at its highest. Will they pass or fail this test? Brad removes the choice for her and leans in for the kiss, she accepts. Chemistry and passion are rushed to the scene cementing the enticement test and the epic fail has befallen upon them. You can assume how it progresses from here, neither one of these test takers ever thought this could happen to them. Brad and Laura didn’t set out to do this to their spouses. Temptation is patient it can wait as long as it needs to, there is no time clock only one goal. The longer it takes to complete the test, the more wreckage it leaves behind and your soul is left to carry the burden.

Initially you question the moral fabric you’re taught since childhood. You look into the eyes of your loving spouse and angel like faces of your kids, wondering how do they not know what I’ve done. You stop praying to God because you feel you are not worthy of his attention, in your mind, you have sunk that low. Yet, asking for redemption and forgiveness is meaningless because you know it will happen again. The illusion of being desired by someone else that’s not financially, legally or contractually bound by vows outweighs any logical or moral sense. You feel as though no matter what good you do towards others, you’re still a cheater and every morning you get up and drink that bitter-sweet cup of gall, then do it all over again.

At some point the affair ends, you made the choice of not telling your spouse, using the last shred of decency you have to spare them the agony of betrayal. When you start telling the truth about your past indiscretions, everything else becomes a lie. A time will come when you reach a place in your heart that you can humble yourself enough to fall on your knees and pray, begging HIM to take your guilt and self-condemnation away. After a while your heart will become desensitized to the pain and the failure that you have caused your own soul. Forgiveness will seep through the cracks, just in time for another siren song. Will you be ready? Did you study long enough to resist the allure of seductive temptation?


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