I remember it all too well The day I lost my soul
As if it was only yesterday. Even through months had past
I could still feel the pain and the sting From the loss of us.
I have managed quite the front to my friends And even sometimes myself.
But if you look closely very closely I am sure you could see the exact place that my soul escaped. Left me only to walk this earth as a shell.
I can hear you asked yourself in your head “How does one lose its soul?Did you sell it to the devil?” An easy answer, at least as I see it.
Sell it to the devil? Not the case at all.
I lost it willingly as willingly as the compulsive gambler
Has to throw his money on the table in a simple game of craps.
I lost it willingly in what every person longs for love.
And if you look at it that way I actually really didn’t lose it.
I gave it away.
I opened my heart and gave away my soul.
I trusted someone enough to give them that gift.
And what has been a gift to them has definitely become a curse for me.
I miss my soul. I miss the carefree part of me that honestly just didn’t care. I miss the me who could move on without so much as a second thought to what I had with him.
Before him I was content that I really had or seem to have no real emotional attachment to anyone.
That I could callously walk away without a second thought.
But now my days are spent weeping over the soul I lost.
Loathing me over the fact I so willingly trusted, so willing handed my soul over to him.
Fearful that I will never get it back, never have the air of disassociation again.
I find myself thinking of him, analyzing what could have been done differently, the only if I did this or said that or even hadn’t said that.
Up until him I never believed in happily ever after and in one instance I had it, only briefly but I had it but with him I had only seen in my dreams, that feeling, that touch, his face, but now my dreams have become nightmare of what was what has been done.
Whenever or if ever it returns hopefully it will, my soul that is, have better luck next time. Until then I am left to suffer, to walk this world empty alone and soulless, patiently waiting for its return