I love my dogs – all four of them. They’re part of our family and there isn’t much I wouldn’t do for them. Over the years I’ve wasted countless dollars on products and gadgets that for some reason sounded like a good idea at the time. I once bought a fleece hoodie for my male schnauzer to keep him warm on our long winter walks. Imagine my surprise when I realized it covered his tush! When I read that dogs can get cataracts just like us, I was sure my guys needed doggie sunglasses. At least they were a good conversation starter at the garage sale I had later that summer.
All kidding aside, pet products are serious business. According to the American Pet Products Association, in the U.S. alone, we spent $48.35 billion on our pets in 2010. In 2011, with the unemployment rate hovering at around 9 percent and inflation at only 3.8 percent, it’s estimated we’ll spend an additional 5 percent on our pets, bringing the annual total to $50.84 billion! Now that’s a lot of kibble.
We’re not just spending on the necessities. In my opinion, here are just a few of the silliest, most outlandish, unnecessary pet products on the market today.
Litter-Robot, $339.99
The Litter-Robot claims to “free you from the chore of litter box scooping,” but that freedom comes at a steep price! If you’re tired of having to scoop up your kitty’s waste, this globe-like device will roll around to dispose of it for you; sadly, you still have to physically remove the waste from your home eventually. It might be more cost-effective to add that duty to your child’s chore chart instead.
Pet High Chair, $50.99
I can’t tell you how many times I’ve lain awake at night just wishing my four dogs could sit at the table with us at dinner. Well, now they can with the assistance of this pet chair which clips right onto your dinner table. Phooey on all those animal behaviorists who say we shouldn’t feed our pets from the table. I say, bring ‘em on! Too bad though; they’re only good for pets up to 10 pounds.
Litter Kwitter, $59
Yes, now you can train your cat to use a human toilet, and get rid of that nasty, unsanitary kitty litter! One of its special features is that it can be fitted and removed in less than five seconds – because you’ll need to take Fluffy’s toilet seat off to use the toilet yourself. What could be more sanitary than that?
Sexy Beast Fragrance for Dogs, $65
No more doggy breath or irritating canine odors of any kind. Sexy Beast will change all that. This designer fragrance for dogs is just right for that special little something under the tree, or for the mutt that has everything. Their motto? “A small spritz for dog. A giant spritz for dogkind.”
Bowser Beer, $19.99
You read that right: beer for dogs. So when you and your canine companion are hanging out on the couch watching football, you can both throw back a few. The price is per six-pack, and the tasty concoction comes in two flavors – Beefy Brown Ale and Cock-a-Doodle Brew. It contains no alcohol or carbonation, but at $3.34 a bottle (plus tax and shipping), my guess is that most purchasers have already had a few too many themselves.
Diamond Dog Collars, $150,000 – $3.2 Million
And finally, the silly pet product to end all silly pet products: a diamond dog collar. That’s right. According to the website, i Love Dogs Diamonds produces diamond collars designed and crafted by affiliate master jewelers, located on 5th Avenue in New York City. This expensive piece of puppy bling might be more expensive than anything you own, but your beloved princess will sparkle like Princess Kate with a bauble like this around her neck.
Sources:
“Industry Statistics & Trends,” American Pet Products Association