Let’s just say that as the father of teenage girls, it’s easier for me to hate Taylor Lautner than…to breathe. The success of the “Twilight” books isn’t a surprise, as the characters are complex, and while fantasy, add a realm of believable emotions to a suspenseful plot. The movies are poorly written, poorly acted, overhyped drivel for teenage girls and middle-aged women.
Why do I risk going off on an anti-Twilight tangent to talk about Taylor Lautner’s last attempt at a leading role? Simply, because he’s the reason my middle daughter wanted to see the movie.
The movie starts out with promise, since Lautner’s character Nathan Harper is almost immediately shirtless, which the writers seem to think will cover up bad acting. In Lautner’s defense, there are a few scenes in the beginning where he shows real promise – he plays an out-of-control teenager, and as a parent, I just want to commit some borderline child abuse on this kid – which then to my delight, happens! Whoever dreamed up the idea of his father forcing him into boxing gloves and kicking his ass when he was hung over must have placed that scene just for me, because it was fantastic! Lautner doesn’t do a bad job pulling off the action scenes, either.
Enter his leading lady, Karen (played by Lily Collins). She does a bit better at first, portraying some real emotional hotness with her do-me glances in the high school hallways, but after about the third one, that starts to get old – then I figured out why – it looks like Lions Gate was going for a less expensive version of Kristen Stewart, but Karen is no Bella.
Let me at least try to squeeze in a couple of good points about this movie. The plot is twisty and unexpected. It utilizes a universal adolescent fantasy, “What if I’m adopted and I’m really an action hero?” that is convoluted enough to be interesting, but not incredibly hard to follow. There are actually number of scenes that made my heart race a bit.
Lautner isn’t the only star-power in this film – wow I can’t believe I just wrote that – but I am referring of course to Sigourney Weaver, who plays Nathan’s psychiatrist / CIA guardian. She did as well as anyone could to make this role work.
She delivers the movie’s best line, right after Nathan’s parents, who weren’t really his parents, are murdered, and his entire life has exploded along with his house: “Right now, you need to get your shit together.” Awesome! Put on your big-boy pants, Lautner!
Worst line of the movie, from the villain from central casting: “You will be responsible for the death of all your friends…on Facebook.” Really? Like all 1,274 of them? Or maybe just the ones who are tagged as close acquaintances, or have commented on my recent posts. I guess that part didn’t make the final cut.
Special effects? Done right! The right balance of dialogue and stuff blowing up is important in any action movie, and if the dialogue had been better, the balance would have been perfect.
My advice to Taylor Lautner? Stop taking roles where you play a shallow Neanderthal character with no real dialogue. I think you have the potential to be better than that. And learn the definition of exploitation.
The verdict? Although it has some redeeming qualities, don’t waste your money on this one, at least until it lands in the pile of $2 DVDs at Wal-Mart.