He is 24 years old and you still pay his bills. He lays around the house without a care in the world. He is even to triflin to take out the garbage. What’s worse, he’s unemployed and is not looking for a job.
Are you tired of your adult son being irresponsible and just plain slothful? Do yourself, your son, and society a favor and nip this behavior in the bud. Below are 5 steps to turn your irresponsible son into a responsible man.
Step 1: Draw a Line in the Sand
Give him three months to get his act together. Getting his act together entails your son getting a job and helping out with household chores. Tell your son that you need more help around the house and he has become a financial burden. Give him a deadline to get his act together. He might be upset at first, so give him a few days to cool down. Irresponsible adult sons usually like their current lifestyle and don’t want anyone messing with it under any circumstances. However, he will realize the situation he is in and in most cases will start acting appropriately.
Step 2: Handle Your Own Bills
Once he gets a job, make him pay his own way. Car payment, car insurance, health and dental bills, and clothes should be his responsibility after his second pay check.
Step 3: Paying Rent (Optional)
Ask him to pay a $100 or $150 in rent. After all, he is using the electricity and water, plus eating the food you buy. However, this step is optional. Some parents don’t charge their adult children rent if they have a job, buy their own food, and pay their personal bills. You can opt not to do this if your son only gets paid minimum wage and most of his pay check goes to his personal bills. Judge your son’s situation carefully, but fairly, since he is trying to meet your demands.
Step 4: Play Hard Ball
If he doesn’t have his act together in 3 months and wasn’t really trying, put him out. It is hard for a mother to do, but you have to cut the cord. Don’t worry if he has nowhere to go. Homeless shelters are still open and he probably has a couple of friends who have their own place. He has to learn sometime. Being lazy, irresponsible, and just plain triflin is his choice not yours.
Plus, stop paying his personal bills, like car payment, insurance, etc. Have it all changed into his name only. Pesky creditors can possible straighten him out, too.
Step 5: Getting Rough
What if he doesn’t leave? Pack his stuff, leave it on the porch, and have the locks changed, or have the cops put him out. A friend of mine gave her adult son 6 months to get his act together. When he didn’t do it, she gave him 30 days to find somewhere else to live. He wouldn’t leave and wasn’t trying, too. My friend called the cops to put him out of the house. It is rough, but sometimes you have to use harsh measures to make people understand. If you can’t bear the thought of getting the cops involved, then pack his stuff while he’s not home, get a friend to help you if need be, call a locksmith, and put his stuff on the porch. If you can’t bear to be there when he comes home and finds his stuff on the porch, then spend the night at a friend’s house or just go out of town for a few days.
Yes, it will hurt, but it will hurt your son much more in the future if he doesn’t learn how to be a responsible adult.