Lancaster, CA. What can you say about Lancaster except HOT! In the dead of summer (no pun intended, but dead is the right word) it is like walking into an oven when you go outside. The air is so thick and scorching hot that you almost initially choke on it as your lungs become accustomed to breathing in fire. So this is the summer of 2003 and I am 29, married (he is now happily my ex-husband) and my husband is an over the road truck driver and I have a home daycare. We have two kids and I am 5 months pregnant with my third.
So this is a Monday and oddly all of the daycare kids have gone home early except for my friends two boys. Since the last parent to pick up is my good friend, I decide to get my comfie clothes on early. Now you may ask what comfie clothes are? Stretchy shorts and a t-shirt minus the bra and underwear of course. There are few pleasures when you are pregnant, but I assure you, stretchy clothes is one of them.
Knock, knock! …….. oh thank god, Nelly is here to pick up her boys and I can relax at last. So why am I 20 minutes later, still at my door listening to the latest drama that is her marriage re why her husband is inattentive? Does she know how ridiculous it is to ask me? I have a lousy marriage, the only reason we are still married is because my husband is on the road for a month and then home for two days. Nelly is using me as her sounding board and for advice? Is she not getting the message that we are standing at the door and I haven’t invited her in? I am half hiding behind the door because I don’t have a bra on, just my shorts and t-shirt…..no bra, no shoes, but how do I tell Nelly that? All the while my then 2.5 year old son, Kai, is at my feet trying to get by to go outside and ride his mini electric quad that is calling his name from the front yard. “Ma, ow-si? Ow-si ma?” Kai is chanting away while wrangling my legs trying to get by. “No Kai, we aren’t going outside to play. We’re gonna lay down and take a rest.” I shamelessly hint to Nelly….please let her get it…….hoping……praying…….nope. She continues, “Why can’t he love me as much as I love him?”………”Why can he be romantic?”……….”Why did he marry me if he can’t show affection?” Nelly asks without even a breath to allow for an answer.
Finally Kai wiggles his way by and jumps on his quad, riding back and forth across the front lawn as Nelly continues her ode to misery. Kai knows I am watching him. We do this dance often but at this moment he knows that I am powerless because I have a daycare parent here and I unfortunatley can’t get ghetto.
“Kai come here now,” I call cheerfully, he just scoffs at me over his shoulder as if to say, “Really? Come on mom you know me better then that!” Nelly is obliviously chatting on and on as I am silently screaming at Kai. He knows it, I know it, but we are dancing this cat and mouse dance for the sake of my daycare parent. Kai artfully jumps his quad over the curb, rides with 2 tires on and 2 tires off the curb, no hands, standing…back and forth in the yard as if to say, “Neener, neener mom, you caaaaaannnnn’t get me.” As he inches his way further and further away, now I have had enough. I put my dignity and self respect on the shelf knowing that I should not be going outside like this and walk past Nelly to close the gap between Kai and I and get him back in the yard and finally Nelly gets the point and waves goodbye as she drives off.
Now it’s on, Kai and I both know that the chase is on. I start walking towards Kai and he jumps his quad just out of reach laughing at the prospect of being chased. I walk faster, Kai goes faster until we are 2 houses down, 3 houses, 4. I start growling at him to stop NOW but he just continues. Changing tactics I say, “ok, ok, ok hey Kai look mommy and Kai will go home and get popsicles, how about that? Come on let’s go!” As I turn to see if I can get him to follow me. Nope he is off and running, and now he is about 15 feet ahead.
So how far to you think we are away from the house now? 1/2 a block?……..nope. A block?………nope. We are 3 blocks from the house and I just want to remind you of my current state. Shorts, t-shirt, barefoot, no bra and 5 months pregnant. My feet are burning off my body and my 2.5 year old son is having the ride of his life. I am beginning to get desperate now because he is nearing a busy street and I just cannot catch him. As he nears the corner the panic is rising in my throat and I scream, KAI STOP RIGHT THIS MINUTE OR I’M GONNA WHOOP YOUR TAILl!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Kai actually stopped and looked around at me run-walking (with burning feet and boobies-a-swinging) towards him with tears flowing down my cheeks, looking like a crazed woman on something.
Kai pauses for 2 seconds and cheerfully says, “Ok mom,” and swings his quad around to head back in the direction of the house. I stood stunned, watching him pass me with a ‘what the crap’ look on my face. Like really?!?!? It was then that Kai stopped and turned around and said, “Wanna wide ma?” Oh my sweet little hyperactive, gonna be the death of me son stopped to ask his ma if she wanted a ride back home. Just when you think there is no hope he surprises me with the sweetest little gestures.
Kai is now 11, you can sneak a peek at him as he is my profile picture. I am still chasing Kai down but now it is usually in my car as that is the only way I can catch up with him. He is still very much ADHD, which provides lots of struggles but lots of hilarious family stories too:).