Five Common Mistakes that Parents Make

Becoming a parent is one of the hardest jobs any adult will ever do. Once you have made the commitment, there is no quitting (unless you’re a dead-beat) and very rarely can a parent get fired (emancipation being the only exception). On the job training is the only way you really learn how to do this job. Mistakes will be made through ignorance, carelessness and sometimes even deliberately. Despite whether you do a good job of parenting or a bad job, you will have influenced your children in some way to become the individuals that they are.

First, I would like to disclose that there is no scientific research behind this list of parenting mistakes. This is simply an opinion based review of what I have observed, of what I have experienced with my own kids and the feedback I have collected from talking with other parents.

The Great Divide- One of the biggest mistakes that parents make is being divided when it comes to discipline. It makes me cringe to watch one parent firmly say no about something and then see the child go to the other parent, who says yes, despite what their partner just said. Not only does this teach children how to manipulate adults, it also undermines the other person’s authority. In addition, it sends a confusing message to the child. On most issues, parents need to be a unified, cohesive force. You may not see eye to eye on every issue, so there will be times of compromise. However, consistency between mom and dad on important issues will result in a happier home life for the entire family. Empty Threats- Empty threats are one of the biggest contributors to behavioral problems in children. It’s the equivalent to a parent shooting themselves in the foot. Kids are continuously testing the boundaries and if you give a child a consequence for an unwanted behavior, you need to follow through with what you promised. Children are quick to catch on to adults who are all bark and no bite. If you lose control of and respect from your children at a young age, trying to rein them in when puberty hits will be a nightmare. Complacency- Outside factors such as work, finances and other adult relationships can put a parent’s focus and mind on anything but what is going on with their kids. As adults, our lives are riddled with stress and it’s easy to overlook issues that come up with our children or to stop paying attention to them and what they’re doing. It’s easy to get so distracted with other things that you may think everything is fine with your kids when there are actually problems that you’ve been oblivious to, Parents need to make time to connect with their children. Uncontrollable Temper- Parenting can truly test the boundaries of sanity. However, how can you expect to have control over your children if you can’t control your own temper? How can you expect good behavior if you are reflecting awful behavior back to your kids? I’ve seen parents yell at their children so much that the children have become almost immune to it. This is completely counterproductive to the structure a parent is supposed to provide. Over-parenting- Sometimes parents do too much for their kids. Once your children get to a certain age, they need to be cleaning their own room. They should be learning how to do laundry and how to cook. Giving kids responsibilities and household chores teaches them the basic skills they need to live on their own. Many parents do not include their children on family matters such as finances and budgeting. This can also be a mistake. Older children should be aware of household bills and how the family should budget money each month. I wish my own parents had clued me in on financial issues, especially with credit and credit cards. It would have helped me from making many of the mistakes I made as a young adult.

The best way to avoid making mistakes as a parent is to acknowledge it when you’re making them. You can’t expect to get different results from doing the same thing over and over again. Use your past mistakes as a learning experience for what not to do in the future.


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