3 Seconds

Sometimes I wish I was a goldfish. Then I could forget. You think my brothers are stupid, pretend they are not worthy. Don’t you remember the vows you took, promises you made? You are the only father they know, be an example, a leader, a friend.

Your voice makes my stomach churn. Hateful words fill innocent ears. I hear them all, like a knife to the heart with each jab. You treat me like a child, but we’re adults. Civil conversation a dream. I bring home doughnuts and the world crashes down, lost in your rage. “WE DON’T NEED THAT” resonates. Mom is unhappy, it’s obvious.

Tears stream with the water as she washes dishes, her eyes screaming in pain. Consuming herself in anything to avoid the truth. A mistake’s been made. She deserves better than you. Your controlling nature is her shadow. Images of her pain are tattoos on my mind. The heartbreak in my brothers’ tears ever-present, a never ending slideshow of anguish. Goldfish have the luxury of forgetting. Sometimes I wish we were all goldfish.


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